Things We Saw Today: The Updated Pirates of the Caribbean Ride’s Redhead Is Here, and She’s Spectacular

We previously reported that the Disney “Pirates of the Caribbean” ride was getting a much-needed update: the “Auction” part where chained women were available to the highest bidder was getting scrapped. Even better, the standout redhead of the scene would become a pirate herself. Now she’s arrived at Disneyland Paris.

In the video above, you can watch the updated ride, and we have to say the Redhead is looking fierce as hell with her sash of pistols and flamboyant hat. As a reminder, this is what the scene used to be:

As Vivian mentioned in her article, some people were unnecessarily upset about the parks messing with their sexist nostalgia, as though there weren’t some truly legendary female pirates throughout history. Sorry that there’s no more wenches for sale in Paris, boys and girls. It’s time to grow up. The updated scene and the commandingly badass lady pirate will be rolling out at other Disney theme parks the next year. Someone tell the first commenter on this youtube video, who wrote, “Terrible. Unnecessary change. Nice going Disney,” that everything is going to be okay even though women are now visibly pirates too and no longer at auction.

• Why did the Emmys snub the incredible Rachel Bloom of the incredible Crazy Ex-Girlfriend? (Bustle)
• A huge corruption scandal in Pakistan involving the Prime Minister’s daughter now appears to hinge on documents that might have been forged—a forgery exposed because the font, Calibri, hadn’t been released at the time the documents were supposedly created. They’re calling it Fontgate. Next time you want to get up to shady business, remember to hire a graphic designer to help. (BBC)
• Giant Pikachus dance to the sound of yodeling. Yes, they do. (Polygon)
• Fiona the Hippo is now an honorary deputy sheriff, because the world isn’t all bad.
  

  Thank you Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office for being a part of #TeamFiona & naming her as an “Honorary Deputy Sheriff” yesterday! pic.twitter.com/lhoWGYwHcT

  — Cincinnati Zoo (@CincinnatiZoo) July 13, 2017

• Dunkirk‘s seven-minute trailer has been confusing Wonder Woman moviegoers, who wonder if they’re watching the wrong movie. Jessica confirms the same thing happened to her: “i was like oh damn patty jenks going with the high drama alright.” (The Telegraph)
• How to make a Harry Potter golden egg. What it says on the tin. Maybe don’t bathe with it. (BoingBoing)
• Target continues to be awesome and is introducing a gender-neutral line of children’s clothes. (LGBTQ Nation)
• Radiohead hid a secret computer program in the anniversary edition of OK Computer, OK? (Gizmodo)
• Happy 75th birthday to my favorite scruffy-looking nerf herder, Harrison Ford. (Pajiba)

So what’d you see today, space pirates?

(images: screengrab, Lucasfilm)

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