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Things We Saw Today: Mom’s Satanic Panic Over ‘Hocus Pocus 2’ Unintentionally Makes It Sound Awesome

Reading too much into the "cult" in "cult classic."

Sarah Jessica Parker, Bette Midler, and Kathy Najimy in Hocus Pocus 2.

It wouldn’t be a Disney movie if there weren’t at least one viral post or Fox News segment ranting about how the movie or show was actually going to bring about hell on Earth or, at the very least, represent another crack in an increasingly amoral society, now would it? With Halloween in full swing and Christian proselytizing (feeling like) it’s at an all-time high despite (or because of) the dwindling church attendance numbers, we’re set for at least one Satanic Panic a week. (This is, of course, separate from anti-trans panic and another manufactured outrage.)

This week’s charge is led by Jamie Gooch against the highly anticipated Disney+ movie Hocus Pocus 2.

Bette Midler making a face in Hocus Pocus

In a Facebook post, Gooch claimed that the movie was essentially bringing bad spirits into your house and urged readers to ask themselves if “your children’s minds are strong enough to ward off the hypnotization and bewitching trance that will be coming through the screen.” After KWTX10 reached out to interview her, the rambling got much worse, and she was on the verge of tears. She says things like “worst-case scenario, you unleash hell,” like that’s not also the worst-case scenario when eating food that won’t sit right with your stomach. Gooch, what are you talking about?!

Gooch's Septmeber 26 Facebook post. Image: Screencap from KWTX.

It’s not just this movie, Disney, or Hollywood (yes, she went there) that she takes issue with. Gooch told KWTX10 “We have not participated in Halloween in about four or five years, it’s just now how we live our lives […] It grieves me, the thought of exposing our kids to darkness.” What they do celebrate is the definitely more Paganistic (and polytheistic) fall harvest, though? Her Texas farm is mostly cattle based. Ma’am, be serious.

I looked up the farm (definitely located in the part of Hill Country that I hold it in for) and if she would be afraid of anything, it would be the animals deciding humans are on the menu. Salem is in the northeast, The Ring was based in Japan, and L.A. is on the west coast, so she has nothing to worry about. Oh lord, she should really stay away from Lamb.

(via KWTX10, featured image: Matt Kennedy/Disney+)

Here are some other bits of news out there:

  • Former TMS Fandom Editor Briana Lawrence sold a duology about preteen girls with magical enamel pins! (via Twitter)
  • Love is Blind Season 2’s Iyanna McNeely and Jarrette Jones, file for divorce—good for her. (via US)
  • You know who else was obsessed with Marilyn Monroe? The FBI and their 85-page file on her. (via The Daily Beast)
  • Writer Tochi Onyebuchi explores immigration in Wakanda in Captain America: Symbol of Truth (via BlackNerdProblems)
  • Apparently, an expensive sex scene was cut in Bros… because of The White Lotus. (via AV Club)

What did you see online today, Mary Suvieans?

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(she/her) Award-winning artist and blogger with professional experience and education in graphic design, art history, and museum studies. Starting as an Online Editor for her college paper in October 2017, Alyssa began writing for the first time within two months of working in the newsroom. This resident of the yeeHaw land spends most of her time drawing, reading and playing the same handful of video games—even as the playtime on Steam reaches the quadruple digits. Currently playing: Baldur's Gate 3. Still trying to beat Saxon Farm on RCT 3 (so I can 100% the game.)