Sydney looks concerned while talking to Carmy on The Bear.
(Chuck Hodes/FX)

Why Is Everyone Being So Weird About Shipping Syd and Carmy on the Bear?

It is so easy to let people ship things and not force actors to talk about it. Recently, the cast of The Bear has had to field question after question about whether or not we’ll see Carmy (Jeremy Allen White) and Syd (Ayo Edebiri) together on the show.

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I remember the good ol’ days when shipping conversations stayed between fans, and if it got to the actors, they’d smirk and say, “Who knows!” and we’d all carry on? But the continued conversation about Syd and Carmy in particular has forced White and Edebiri to talk about them time and time again. Even if the two do not end up together, that’s fine! But it feels weird to force Edebiri and White to constantly answer for it.

At the press conference for season 3 of the series, they were asked about the next stage of their characters’ “partnership,” and White seemingly shut down any romantic future for them. “There was no talk in the room about any romantic implication [between them],” he said. That’s both good and bad for me, someone who would like to see them smooch but also understands what their friendship means to them.

What I think is weird is the hatred of Syd and Carmy as a ship. Some of the jokey tweets about this have been funny.

But others have instead shamed fans for wanting this relationship in the first place. One even wrote “Anyone who’s been shipping Carmy and Sydney is completely misreading the show and apparently completely unfamiliar with the concept of a platonic work spouse. They’re like Don Draper and Peggy Olson.”

This energy against a ship has happened before

While I do think there is an importance to platonic friendships between men and women on television, the energy against a ship like Syd/Carmy is weird. But unfortunately we’ve seen this over and over again when there is a Black female lead that people ship with her white male co-star.

Some couples have worked out, like Iris West (Candice Patton) and Barry Allen (Grant Gustin) or Michonne (Danai Gurira) and Rick Grimes (Andrew Lincoln). Others, like Ichabod Crane (Tom Mison) and Abbie Mills (Nicole Beharie) on Sleepy Hollow don’t end up in a romantic relationship, but fans were aggressive about how they were only friends. While it is fine if these characters only end up as friends, it is weird how people refuse to let a Black woman be shipped with a white man without fighting everyone who does ship it.

People do ship Syd and Marcus (Lionel Boyce) and ship Carmy and Claire (Molly Gordon). But when it comes to any conversation about Syd and Carmy as a couple, people love to yell and now the actors have to address it.

If the two remain just friends, that’s fine! They don’t have to kiss, but it is important to recognize that the intensity of those who are opposed to the ship is a weird thing that happens too often with Black women, and maybe just let people ship what they want.

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Rachel Leishman
Rachel Leishman (She/Her) is an Assistant Editor at the Mary Sue. She's been a writer professionally since 2016 but was always obsessed with movies and television and writing about them growing up. A lover of Spider-Man and Wanda Maximoff's biggest defender, she has interests in all things nerdy and a cat named Benjamin Wyatt the cat. If you want to talk classic rock music or all things Harrison Ford, she's your girl but her interests span far and wide. Yes, she knows she looks like Florence Pugh. She has multiple podcasts, normally has opinions on any bit of pop culture, and can tell you can actors entire filmography off the top of her head. Her work at the Mary Sue often includes Star Wars, Marvel, DC, movie reviews, and interviews.