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The X-Files newbie recaps

The X-Files Newbie Recap: Season 9 & I Want To Believe

Think of me, think of me fondly when we've said gooodbyeee...

And guys, I really did want to believe.

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The X-Files Newbie Recap: Season 8

John Doggett and Monica Reyes are the heroes we deserve AND need right now.

Greetings, X-Philes! We're onto the penultimate season of the show, and if I'm being honest, this was a tough one. A very tough one.

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The X-Files Newbie Recap: Season 7

Have aliens forcibly made this ship canon? What a way to go.

X-Philes friends! I'm back, I'm excited, I'm full of rage and bursting with thoughts. Let's do this thing.

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The X-Files Newbie Recap: Season 6

Yes, the whole thing and WHY DID I EVER THINK I COULD DO THIS IN JUST ONE RECAP?

Featuring a special section dedicated entirely to Rat Prince Alex Krycek. C'mon.

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The X-Files Newbie Recap: “The End” & The X-Files Movie

A bee interrupted the moment. *The* moment. A flipping BEE. I defy you, stars!!!

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The X-Files Newbie Recap: “All Souls,” “The Pine Bluff Variant,” & “Folie à Deux”

"If I'm not back by midnight, feed my fish."

Scully feels, two episodes with beloved Walter and "you're my one in five billion"? THIS WEEK IS JUST COPIOUS HURT.

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The X-Files Newbie Recap: “The Red and the Black,” “Travelers,” and “Mind’s Eye”

"I've been called many things. Skeptical is not one of them."

Mulder and Krycek, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I [the moment has been interrupted by a crude joke] This is why we can't have nice things.

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The X-Files Newbie Recap: “Kill Switch,” “Bad Blood,” & “Patient X”

"Anyway, I was drugged."

How do you solve a problem like following certified masterpiece Bad Blood? YOU RESURRECT RATBOY, THAT'S HOW. Peculiar affair with Covarrubias: optional.

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The X-Files Newbie Recap: “Kitsunegari,” “Schizogeny,” & “Chinga”

"Aren't you supposed to be on vacation?"

The temptation to start singing "Push It" whenever I hear the term Pusher is real. But possibly inappropriate. Also: 90s holiday chic! Let's proceed.

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The X-Files Newbie Recap: “The Postmodern Prometheus”, “Christmas Carol”, & “Emily”

"Well, I am a scientist, for one."

Easter is about death and resurrection so I guess a slew of episodes about reanimated creatures and Scully feels are somehow fitting? "Christmas Carol" and "Emily" are like a sledgehammer to the gut.

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The X-Files Newbie Recap: “Redux II,” “Unusual Suspects,” and “Detour”

"That's what happens. People get to lookin' around, next thing they know, something eats 'em."

Scully's cancer goes into remission, the Lone Gunmen's origin story is pretty blah and our heroes get lost in the woods during a routine teamwork conference. "Detour" saves this week.

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The X-Files Newbie Recap: “Demons,” “Gethsemane,” & “Redux”

"Who, this guy Mulder? Where's he through all of this?"

Season 5! *That* is the sound of the halfway point approaching. Insert gulp here.

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The X-Files Newbie Recap: “Small Potatoes,” “Zero Sum,” & “Elegy”

"Did he have a lightsaber?"

NOT THE BEES! There, I said it.

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The X-Files Newbie Recap: “Tempus Fugit,” “Max,” and “Synchrony”

"I just thought it was a cool keychain."

Pendrell is dead. In related news, so is God, love, hope, and my faith in this world. Here, take some tissues before we go on.

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The X-Files Newbie Recaps: “Kaddish” & “Unrequited”

I write with quivering fingers because my house is Baltic right now. Good job both this week's episodes are so dark then, hein?

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The X-Files Newbie Recap: “Leonard Betts,” “Never Again,” & “Memento Mori”

"Pick out something black and sexy, and prepare to do some funky poaching."

"Mulder, I need to know you're out there if I am ever to see through this." As the quest for truth is to Mulder, so Mulder is to Scully. A woman's heart is a deep ocean of sobs.

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The X-Files Newbie Recap: “Terma,” “Paper Hearts,” & “El Mundo Gira”

Comrade Krycek, or "I'm here in pieces, and you're having delusions of grandeur."

D'ya ever want to hug and punch Mulder at the same time?

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The X-Files Newbie Recap: “Sanguinarium”, “Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Man”, & “Tunguska”

STUPID. ASS. HAIRCUT.

Deep Throat once shot an alien in the face, but the CSM shot JFK. Where is your god now?

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The X-Files Newbie Recaps: “Unruhe” & “The Field Where I Died”

"Even if I knew for certain, I wouldn't change a day."

Would anyone like a dissertation on "The Field Where I Died"? Cos I'll write one. I'll write one right now and then I'll write four more. This was agonising.

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The X-Files Newbie Recap: “Home” & “Teliko”

Deceive. Inveigle. Obfuscate.

None of you were in a hurry to get to "Home," right?

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