Our long, national nightmare is over! Two years ago, during Super Bowl XLIII, the Arizona Cardinals took the lead with a fourth-quarter touchdown by Larry Fitzgerald. And during that touchdown, a 30-second clip of porn appeared on the screen alongside Mr. Fitzgerald. The Pittsburgh Steelers ended up winning that game, but were most likely not distracted by the porn since only Tucson low-definition cable subscribers saw the clip. And it only took two years to find out who was responsible! Um, really?
Only just recently was Frank Tanori Gonzalez arrested by authorities on suspicion of fraud and computer tampering for airing a clip of the porn film “Wild Cherries 5” during the Super Bowl. Question: How does it take two years to find out who was in charge of the broadcast for that cable provider that day? When they were failing to find a suspect, did they almost throw in the towel? But, don’t they solve decades-old murder cases all the time? They made a show all about that called Cold Case Files. Those detectives don’t give up. Even if a case is 80 years old, damnit, they will find that freaking perp if it takes them another 80 years! And it never does — because formulaically, they just revisit their suspects and pull the truth out of one of them. So most likely, they talked to Mr. Gonzalez several times about “Wild Cherries 5,” then, apparently, conducted extensive additional “investigations” to get inside his head before settling on him.
“It’s no use, Doherty, we’re closing the file.”
“No, Chief! I can get this guy! Just a few more days! Hey, Chief? Is there a ‘Wild Cherries 6’? Er, for context.”
