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A Queer Couple Talks About Transitioning and Sex Beyond the Binary

Lauren and Saha had the chance New York City meeting that millions dream about, and a love that transcends all binaries.

This video was produced by them, an LGBTQIA-oriented site/community platform that came out of media giant CondeNast. them‘s mission to highlight emerging LGBTQIA voices across many topics is a vital one, and it’s a good sign of our times that they’re supported by the considerable resources of a traditional media outlet.

Traditional media, in general, should be focusing more on stories that concern people like Lauren and Saha instead of asking Trump’s base how they’re feeling about the wall today. Anyway!

As part of the “Bedtime Stories” series, Lauren and Saha share how they met—on the subway, then via Craigslist’s missed connections—and how their relationship and their sex life has only grown stronger after Lauren’s decision to transition and identification as non-binary.

The couple has been together for five years, and Lauren has been transitioning for the last year. Lauren says, “As someone who identifies as non-binary, I think that process began a lot earlier. I remember Saha saying, when we first started dating, that I didn’t have sex like anyone else. He goes, ‘this is really different, you are really different, there’s something different here.’ I honestly think that was very gender-related.” Saha adds, “It’s funny all the ways in our life where we pull in gender—like sex, walking down the street, eating breakfast—all those things, you sort of pull in ways of performing your gender, and Lauren always broke out of those things.”

There’s something incredibly joyful about watching these two interact: total love and acceptance, and a level of support and comfort with one another that is so admirable and adorable it makes my teeth ache with their sweetness.

More stories about the realities of modern couples like this, living and evolving happily together, please! We have enough angst in the rest of the news and media to last several lifetimes, but there’s never enough unbounded love.

(via them, image: screengrab)

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Kaila is a lifelong New Yorker. She's written for io9, Gizmodo, New York Magazine, The Awl, Wired, Cosmopolitan, and once published a Harlequin novel you'll never find.