My time has come. I am ready to ascend. Or … I think it has? For years, I have waited for a Star Wars character that I could adopt as my own, a character I could love and cherish above all else. I thought I had found that love in the porgs, thought that maybe it would be Babu Frik, but then baby Yoda came and took my heart and ran with it, and I am proud of my beautiful little boy.
The internet flocked to him, took him in as their own, and Disney is just now preparing to get all his merchandise out, which probably proves that no one was ready for how big of a sensation baby Yoda ended up being, but then again, none of us knew what Jon Favreau and company had planned for us on Disney+’s The Mandalorian.
Now though, here is where the conspiracy theory comes in: There were reports that you would soon be able to meet baby Yoda and Mando at Disney parks. The source was reportedly Paul Southern, who is the senior vice president of licensing for Lucasfilm. Or … he was, but if this was a screwup, who knows what his title is now.
Over the course of the day, the original article on the news from In the Know, and at least one more spreading the news, vanished from the internet. In the Know’s original quote from Southern went like this:
So, the reality is that we feel it’s really important for our guests at the parks to be able to meet all of our key characters on a first-hand, personal basis. And so it’s something we’re working on. We think it’s appropriate, and I think it’s something the guests at the parks can look forward to in the very near future.
Maybe this was supposed to be a surprise, maybe it’s not really happening at all (which would be another huge baby Yoda-monetizing mistake on Disney’s part), or maybe this is all part of the plan for Disney trying to get everyone to call baby Yoda “The Child,” and to that I say:
(Warner Bros.)
According to CBR, Disney continues to label baby Yoda as “The Child” in their product descriptions, and to that, I say stop trying to make The Child happen. It’s never going to happen. Disney is doubling down, trying to get us to say it, and honestly, we have to appreciate the effort.
In a description of the new baby Yoda animatronic toy, they even tried to shame us.
“He may look like “BABY YODA,” but this lovable creature is called THE CHILD — and now you can become his protector with this animatronic toy from STAR WARS.”
Whatever is going on with baby Yoda and the Mando heading to Disney parks, I’m just excited to walk up to him and scream his given name to him. Baby Yoda, I love you with my whole heart, even if Disney is trying to hide you away from me.
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