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Mads Mikkelsen’s Eye Patch and Laser Gloves Are the Energy We’re Bringing Into 2019

Mads, I will follow you and your perfect cheekbones to the ends of the earth.

We all have our favorite subgenres of movies, and square on the top of my list is what I like to call the “cabal of international assassins” film. See for example, John Wick, Hotel Artemis, Kill Bill, Hanna, Wanted, La Femme Nikita, et al. So you can imagine my delight when I watched the trailer for Netflix’s latest entry, Polar, starring Mads Mikkelsen and his flawless bone structure.

Polar is based on the web comic and graphic novel Polar: Came From the Cold by Victor Santos (Filthy Rich). The Netflix synopsis reads: “The world’s top assassin, Duncan Vizla, aka The Black Kaiser (Mads Mikkelsen), is settling into retirement when his former employer marks him as a liability to the firm. Against his will, he finds himself back in the game going head to head with an army of younger, faster, ruthless killers who will stop at nothing to have him silenced.”

The film is directed by Jonas Åkerlund (Lords of Chaos) and co-stars Vanessa Hudgens (The Princess Switch) and Katheryn Winnick (Vikings). And readers, all our favorite assassin movie cliches are here. Jumpy quick edits? Check. A retired hitman getting back in the game? Check. Someone asking said hitman what he does for a living and the hitman responding with a cheeky euphemism? Oh yeah. When asked, Mikkelsen says that he is in “the funeral business”. Get it? Because he kills people.

The trailer also gives us a glimpse into the stylish worldwide organization of assassins, populated (as it should be) by folks in colorful suits with a seemingly endless supply of cigarettes. Here, “the organization” manages the assassins’ finances, with the money returning to the company once an assassin dies. This device was perhaps best executed (pun intended) by the John Wick franchise, which introduced viewers to the Continental Hotel, a worldwide secret haven for assassins. This kind of world building, when done well, can be delightfully entertaining, and was expanded upon in the film’s sequel.

Polar promises similar antics, which include Mikkelsen in an eye patch wielding machine guns via his laser gloves. That’s right folks, laser gloves. Ugh Netflix, shut up and take my money.

Polar drops on Netflix on January 25th.

(via /Film, image: screencap)

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Chelsea was born and raised in New Orleans, which explains her affinity for cheesy grits and Britney Spears. She currently lives in sunny Los Angeles, with her husband and two poorly behaved rescue dogs. She is a former roller derby girl and a black belt in Judo, so she is not to be trifled with. She loves the word “Jewess” and wishes more people used it to describe her.