Jesse Eisenberg’s Been Cast As Lex Luthor, So Let’s Brainstorm Our Best Portmanteau For This
Our money's on "Lexenberg."
Okay, that’s it. Zack Snyder is pulling some kind of Producers-style scheme on us with this Man of Steel 2 movie, right? Casting Jesse Eisenberg and Jeremy Irons as Lex Luthor and Alfred? Like… what?
Unlike those wonderfully too-good-to-be-true rumors about Bryan Cranston as Luthor, this casting choice has been officially vetted by Variety, so it’s legit. Jesse Eisenberg is Lex Luthor. Lexenberg, even.
Naturally, Twitter already has opinions on this latest odd choice for Man of Steel: Man of Steeler, and unfortunately for Jesse, most of them involve trying to punch him.
well, Eisenberg does play the “smartest guy in the room” well. and he does make me want to punch him in the face so, that’s something.
— #Batman75 (@Illusive_Man_1) January 31, 2014
Imagine Jesse Eisenberg throwing a punch at Henry Cavill. Imagine it.
— Connor Goldsmith (@dreamoforgonon) January 31, 2014
If nothing else, Jesse Eisenberg will be the most punchable Lex Luthor ever.
— Eric Walkuski (@ericwalkuski) January 31, 2014
Eisenberg isn’t intimidating, but he is hugely condescending. You will want to see superheroes punch him through walls. So, win.
— John Gholson (@gholson) January 31, 2014
You know, for all the vitriol Ben Affleck and Gal Gadot got for being cast in Man of Steel: Turn Off The Dark, I don’t remember anyone seriously considering what it would be like if they tried to punch those actors. Poor Eisenberg.
Of course we were talking about this out loud in the office like the nerds we are, and Susana Polo from The Mary Sue had a pretty great idea about how to write Lexenberg (their coverage can be found here): If he’s portrayed as an up-and-coming young entrepreneur — although it should be pointed out that Henry Cavil and Eisenberg are exactly the same age, which is weird — Luthor could possibly serve as an interesting foil to Batman, who inherited all his money without having to do anything, and Superman, who was gifted his amazing superpowers at birth. They could be like Eduardo and the Winklevoss Twins to Luthor’s Mark Zuckerberg. Which, you know, is assuming that Snyder’s thought this out, which we’re guessing at this point that he maybe hasn’t.
But honestly, I’m having a harder time taking Jeremy Irons seriously as Alfred. By his very nature, Alfred is an unassuming caretaker who silently puts up with Wayne’s crap. Has Jeremy Irons ever played that kind of role, ever? He’s much better suited to a powerful, semi-maniacal leader type — you know, like Henry IV or Pope Rodrigo Borgia. Or Scar. Seriously, he chews the scenery too hard to be relegated to the background, and I’m not the only one who thinks this.
Anyway, as with each new casting decision for Man of Steel: The Curse of the Black Pearl, we can only wish that this production is going to coalesce into something watchable. I’ve already given up on “good,” but please, just don’t be boring.
In the meantime, we’re just going to make a bunch of stupid meme-based jokes and hope for the best.
From Senior Editor Glen Tickle:
And from yours truly: