Kid Rock and Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. Have Joined Forces To..Try and Show Us The “Ideal” Male Physique?
Yes, these are the two I would immediately go to for fitness advice. The two most in shape, middle-aged men available to the general public. Absolute pillars of healthy living. This is all so very normal, of course, or perhaps it would be if it was–quite literally–anybody else.
On X, U.S. Department of Health & Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. posted a video that even AI couldn’t make up called “Secretary Kennedy and Kid Rock’s Rock Out Work Out.” It reads like a subpar Instagram ad from those skeevy online “fitness” people who are really just there to hock supplements and never tell you what food is actually bad for you. There’s just a whole lot of nothing.
Like, okay. I’ll give it to RFK that his upper body is in pretty good shape. But unless Kid Rock is somehow secretly a fitness guru I don’t think I’ll be taking any advice from him, thanks. I know we all have to start somewhere, but something tells me that this video was Kid Rock’s first day on the job.
One thing We the People can’t get over, though, is this: Why was RFK wearing jeans in the bathtub? A user on X made the perfect comparison, posting, “there are dozens of us… dozens!” with a photo of Arrested Development‘s Tobias Fünke (David Cross), a reference to Tobias’s “never nude” condition, where he can never be naked, not even alone.
This is supposed to be a fitness/healthy eating…PSA? Advertisement? Whichever it is, and yet, there is no advice. None. Not until the end, where they’re drinking glasses of whole milk in the pool, and the gloopy text that says WHOLE MILK pops up on the screen. That’s your advice, folks! Whole milk, problem solved!
It’s all just noise
The least they could have done is explain the workouts they were doing. Tell us how long we should do them for. Why RFK is in the tub with his jeans on. Anything. Even the skeevy fitness people detail their workouts. Heck, give us an AI-generated diet plan or something!
But we know that they don’t actually care. If they did, junk food would not be cheaper than fresh, healthy food. People also wouldn’t have to work 60+ hours a week just to make ends meet, and therefore doom them to a life of microwavable meals and fast food.
Don’t get me wrong: I would love a government PSA that actually details health and fitness. I think it would be incredibly beneficial. But in order for PSAs to work, they need to actually have substance. And sorry to report, but watching these two middle-aged men is not doing it for me.
I never thought I’d say this, but…Jamie Oliver, where are you?
(featured image by Taylor Hill/WireImage & Anna Moneymaker/Getty Images)
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