From Dua Lipa to Lady Gaga and Halle Bailey, plenty of modern pop stars have thrown their hat in the acting ring, but while most musicians only tend to dabble in film with passion projects every now and again, there’s one chart-topper whose love affair with film has netted dozens of roles over the decades: Jennifer Lopez.
For her latest film, This Is Me… Now, Lopez steps behind the camera, serving as executive producer and co-writer as well as the star of this self-financed, $20 million dollar visual album/biopic. Equal parts music video, autobiography, and extensive therapeutic fantasy, JLo’s This Is Me… Now is an opulent, self-indulgent musical fantasy that makes for a fascinating (if dizzying) viewing experience.
Starring JLo as herself (a role listed as “The Artist” in the end credits), This Is Me… Now serves first and foremost as an hour-and-five-minute music video, the visual accompaniment to her album of the same name, which is also being promoted via a world tour titled (you guessed it) This Is Me… Now. Both the film and album explore the history of Lopez’s many romantic entanglements through a highly dramatized, fantasy version—JLo is less interested in depicting a hyper-realistic, down-to-earth story, and more in attempting to capture specific feelings through extensive visual metaphors and a healthy dose of interpretive dance.
Though This Is Me… Now has a couple of thematic throughlines—heartbreak, addiction to love, loneliness, resilience—the plot of the film itself is decidedly harder to pin down. The film opens with a Disney-style animated fairytale (narrated, of course, by JLo) that tells the story of Alida and Taroo—planting hummingbird and flower imagery that permeates the rest of the film (and its marketing.)
Following the self-insert storybook sequence, we’re thrown straight into a sprawling CGI landscape, where JLo clings to the back of a biker (Ben Affleck) as they race across the ice, accompanied by narration from Lopez about how when she was a little girl, all she wanted to be was in love. Things take a turn for the worst when JLo, her blowout, and the biker get into a high-speed crash, and our heroine is hurled through the air as a faux news anchor named Rex Stone (Affleck, styled to resemble Donald Trump) narrates platitudes about how the world has become “disconnected” and that we have no love for others or ourselves.
From there, the film kicks off into its first true musical number, which sees JLo as a dirt-caked (but still full glam) factory worker, dancing her way through an industrial facility as she attempts to stop her massive steampunk heart from breaking. It’s immediately revealed that this is in fact a dream sequence, which JLo’s therapist (Fat Joe) deduces may be mourning the loss of her past love (a.k.a. biker Ben Affleck) and is trying to fill that void with new men who range from not right for her to flat-out abusive.
The rest of the film chronicles how JLo perceives her own romantic failures and troubled love life: “Rebound” features BDSM and bondage-inspired production design and choreography as she struggles to escape an abusive relationship, while “Can’t Get Enough” sees JLo dancing her way through countless weddings with a revolving door of partners, all of whom her (weirdly young) friend group don’t approve of.
As far as messaging goes, This Is Me…. Now is fairly standard inspirational fare—much of the dialogue is centered around Lopez’s idea of herself as a ‘hopeless romantic’ and how the little girl inside of her never truly let go of her childhood idea of what love is, which is what’s landed her in so many bad relationships. It’s an honest, heartfelt sentiment that Lopez has clear convictions about sharing with the world—though the sheer volume gloss, glamor, and grandeur of the film’s production renders a would-be story of vulnerability self-indulgent and insincere.
Still, This Is Me… Now isn’t all moping about past mistakes and exploring Lopez’ most volatile emotional moments. There’s also a goofier, more lighthearted (and often celebrity cameo-filled) side to the film that does nod to some level of self-awareness, even if the production design and costuming choices try their damndest to make JLo seem more like a diety and less like a person. Lopez’s affinity for astrology is showcase several times through a recurring segment that sees a gaggle of celebrities (including Jane Fonda, Jennifer Lewis, and Sofia Vergara, to name a few) as representations of the zodiac signs, looking down on JLo from above and guiding her love life.
It’s nonsensical and ridiculous, but all the performers (especially Keke Palmer and Kim Petras) are clearly having a good time; watching Neil deGrasse Tyson as the personification of Taurus try to figure out how to save Jennifer Lopez’s relationship is the kind of cinematic boundary-pushing that could only come from a pop star who’s spent 20 years
Is This Is Me… Now half baked and caught up in its own extensive metaphors? Yes. Rex Stone’s vaguely political rants are toothless at best, and a particular sequence featuring JLo breaking into a passionate interpretive dance during a “Love Addicts Anonymous” feels to be more than a little in poor taste. But as ridiculous and transparent as this multi-million dollar musical vent session often is, Lopez performs the entire affair with such passion and obvious catharsis that you can’t help but be glad she’s finally been able to realize what’s clearly a long-awaited creative dream of hers.
Though This Is Me… Now likely won’t win over any JLo nonbelievers (even the overblown visuals aren’t enough to distract from some of the more flat, questionable vocals), the film’s ambition, creativity, and heartfelt sincerity are a testament to Jennifer Lopez’s dedication to her craft and (more importantly) herself.
(featured image: Prime Video)
