The Internet Is a Gift From God, You Guys. The Pope Says So
That God guy just has to take credit for everything, huh?
Pope Francis has been known to say crazy things, like how he doesn’t need to talk about abortion and gay marriage all the time and that non-believers just need to try to obey their conscience. Madness. Now he’s saying that the Internet is a gift from God, which makes me wonder if he’s ever actually been on the Internet.
The Pope gave his opinions on the Internet in a statement for World Communications Day, and he described how it has the potential to bring people together and open up dialogue between groups with different beliefs. It’s probably also a super convenient way for God to check up on who’s been sinning, so maybe clear that porn out of your browser history. You’re on God’s Internet, now.
He did admit that the Internet has its problems, and said that it sometimes allows people to surround themselves with opinions similar to their own and ignore the opinions of others. Presumably, the Internet will respond with, “STFU, h8er. Go back 2 the Vatican.”
He’s still pretty optimistic about the Internet, though, which might have something to do with how he’s been winning it by saying things non-believers really like to hear. He even buried a statement in there about how his followers could stand to learn something by not immediately rejecting the view of others, which everyone on the Internet could stand to hear.
On social media’s faults, he said, “While these drawbacks are real, they do not justify rejecting social media; rather, they remind us that communication is ultimately a human rather than technological achievement.” Yeah, the Pope just shamed everyone for being jerks on the Internet and then blaming the Internet for people being jerks. Surprise! If you’re a jerk on the Internet, you were probably already a jerk anyway.
“The digital world can be an environment rich in humanity,” Francis wrote. “A network not of wires but of people.” So, there’s a last little bit of optimism about a world in which the Internet brings humanity together to form some kind of cat video-filled utopia.
- The Vatican uses God’s gift of Internet to talk Batman
- You can get time off from your stay in purgatory by following the Pope’s Twitter
- A Pastafarian Councilman was recently sworn into office wearing a colander
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