In the Battle Between Talking Trains and Talking Cars, Who Would Win?

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We’re all familiar with Maximum Overdrive, right? The movie where inanimate objects come alive and a bunch of trucks make Emilio Estevez pump gas for them? No? Well, I’m terribly sorry to have burdened your mind with that knowledge. You know, if we have to create intelligent machines that are going to fight something… could they fight each other? Maybe for our affection?

Okay, in the fight for our affection between talking trains and talking cars, I think there’s a clear winner.

I mean, first of all, there are way more sentient cars than there are trains. I mean, trains are seriously falling behind here. You’ve basically got a handful of Transformers who are occasionally a train, Thomas the Tank Engine and his crew, and, dare we say it, Blaine the Mono of Stephen King’s Dark Tower series. Talking trains are not, apparently, very big in the human consciousness. Although, Thomas would almost certainly have either Ringo Star

or George Carlin on his side

so that might make a difference.

Talking cars on the other hand…

Not only are we starting with the majority of the cast of Transformers, well…

I suppose it comes down to who have the more populated worlds: Thomas the Tank Engine… or Cars and The Brave Little Toaster combined. But for a contrasting opinion, lets take a look at the opinion of a talking car.


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Susana Polo thought she'd get her Creative Writing degree from Oberlin, work a crap job, and fake it until she made it into comics. Instead she stumbled into a great job: founding and running this very website (she's Editor at Large now, very fancy). She's spoken at events like Geek Girl Con, New York Comic Con, and Comic Book City Con, wants to get a Batwoman tattoo and write a graphic novel, and one of her canine teeth is in backwards.