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Furby’s Back, With Bluetooth! Is the Furby Connect Cute, or Terrifying? Both? Both.

The Furby is back! This isn’t the first time that this bizarre talking toy has attempted a comeback, but the latest iteration has Bluetooth, so maybe it’ll stick around to haunt all the other devices in your household before you box it up and hide it in your basement. Hasbro’s new spin on the toy is called the Furby Connect, and it comes in pink, blue, teal, and purple.

There’s also a Chewbacca-themed version called the Furbacca, which appears to be new today as well, and it costs a little less at $79.99 than the Furby Connect. The Connect costs $99.99, probably because it includes a lot more fancy new features, including LED eyes with a bunch of different expressions, Bluetooth connectivity with a smartphone app, an antennae on its head that serves as a joystick (?), and bigger ears that move around more.

Mashable‘s review of the new toy paints a pretty picture of how adorable it is, but the accompanying photos and video just don’t convince me. The Furby can dance, tell you which songs are trending, and make little noises along with the music. Don’t you want this dead-eyed, fuzzy pal to churn through the charts with you? Doesn’t that sound like a fun way to interact with your favorite playlists? … Yeah, I don’t think so, either.

Here’s the biggest benefit of this unnerving little furball: It comes with an eye-mask, and once that thing’s in place, the Furby quiets down. Remember the days when the Furby would keep you awake by spouting nonsense phrases at you? All over, thank goodness!

That eye mask will also come in handy on the inevitable day when you decide you never want to see or hear from this Furby again. These toys do not age well, by the way. After their fur falls off, they become the stuff of nightmares. I’m not sure that making this robot “more intelligent” is the next logical step, and that’s coming from me, TMS’ resident robot super-fan. Tread carefully, Hasbro.

(via Mashable, image via Vine screenshot)

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Maddy Myers, journalist and arts critic, has written for the Boston Phoenix, Paste Magazine, MIT Technology Review, and tons more. She is a host on a videogame podcast called Isometric (relay.fm/isometric), and she plays the keytar in a band called the Robot Knights (robotknights.com).