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Donald Trump’s “Major Announcement” Was More Embarrassing Than We Ever Could Have Imagined

Leslie Knope holding up a weird little doll and saying "What is that?"

Donald Trump teased a “MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT” on Truth Social Wednesday, writing “AMERICA NEEDS A SUPERHERO!” That message came with a video that ended with an image of Trump drawn as a comic book hero, ripping open his shirt to reveal a spandex suit bearing a “T” symbol. Also, he’s shooting lasers out of his eyes.

Naturally, we were equal parts curious and concerned to learn what the announcement—which he promised would come Thursday—would be. It’s way too early for him to announce which bigoted MAGA sycophant he’d be tagging as his vice presidential candidate but it seemed likely the news would be related to his 2024 campaign.

Boy, were we wrong.

It turns out this “MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT” is the release of the “official Donald Trump Digital Trading Card collection.” He wrote on Truth Social, “These limited edition cards feature amazing ART of my Life & Career!”

The cards depict Trump in various fantasy scenarios, dressed as a sheriff, an astronaut, a NASCAR driver, and in some sort of Top-Gun-in-space situation, just to name a few. You know, those typical, well-known scenes from his life and career!

The cards (which are NFTs) cost $99 and do not benefit the Trump campaign. “These Digital Trading Cards are not political and have nothing to do with any political campaign,” reads the FAQ. Meaning this money goes straight into Trump’s pocket without him having to pretend otherwise.

I know Trump has a hard time turning down a grift but this is so embarrassing, even for him.

(image: NBC)

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Vivian Kane (she/her) has a lot of opinions about a lot of things. Born in San Francisco and radicalized in Los Angeles, she now lives in Kansas City, Missouri with her husband Brock Wilbur and too many cats.