‘I ordered my Uber to be around the corner’: California woman goes for a nightcap after clubbing with a new ‘gay’ friend. Then he forcibly kisses her
For a lot of women, a night out never comes without a parallel plan running in the background, such as who you’re with, how you’re getting home, where you’ll stand while waiting for a ride, and what you’ll do if something feels off.
Even nights meant to be fun are usually accompanied with caution, because relaxing fully often feels like a risk.
That’s the reality one California woman reflected on after sharing a story from her early twenties, when a night out in Los Angeles took a concerning left turn.
TikTok creator @notshelbae recently posted a video recounting an experience from when she was 24 years old. The story, which has garnered more than 11,800 views, recounts how a man she believed was safe deliberately misrepresented himself and crossed her boundaries aggressively.
What Went Wrong on This Night Out
In the video, she explains that the incident happened during a casual night out in Los Angeles while she was living in Culver City. At the time, she regularly went out with friends for drinks and then headed home. On this particular night though, something different happened.
She says the group eventually dwindled down to just her and one friend, and that’s when they met a group of men she believed were gay. “They felt safe,” she says, describing how the group chatted, drank, and joked together. “They’re non-threatening. They want to chitchat, they want to have cocktails.”
By the end of the night, her friend called an Uber and left, but she decided to stay behind with the group, and one of the men suggested going somewhere else for a nightcap. After a few drinks, the situation shifted abruptly.
“He kissed me,” she says. “And, oh, I guess he’s not gay.” She explains that his behavior changed immediately. The friendliness dropped, and the man became forceful and insistent. “I immediately understood I was in danger,” she says.
She excused herself to the bathroom and thought through how to leave without escalating the situation. Instead of calling an Uber directly outside the bar, she orders it to a nearby corner so she won’t be visible. Before leaving, she asks the bouncer for help. “Do not let that guy follow me,” she recalls telling him. “I’m not in a safe situation right now.”
Her Uber doesn’t stop where she requested, but she gets in anyway, already rattled and shaken. She calls a trusted male friend and explains what just happened, trying to steady herself during the ride home.
Then, another red flag appears. She says the Uber driver repeatedly encourages her to close her eyes and go to sleep. “It felt weird,” she explains. “Almost like he was trying to get me to pass out.” She stays awake the entire ride, trusting her instincts again.
She makes it home safely, but the experience left a mark. “I was 24 years old and ill-equipped to handle dangerous people,” she says. The night leaves her with lasting fear and distrust. “Not only did I have a guy pretending to be gay trying to force me to go places,” she adds, “but then my ride home was creepy too.”
Looking back, she says the experience changed how she moves through the world. “I don’t really go out drinking anymore,” she says. “Going out in public and meeting strangers, it’s too much of a risk.”
Tips for Staying Safe as a Woman
Organizations that focus on women’s safety consistently stress the importance of trusting instincts and planning ahead. Staying with friends, watching drinks closely, and knowing how to ask for help from bartenders or bouncers can make a difference. Many bars train staff to recognize signs of discomfort and step in if someone feels unsafe.
Recognizing signs of being drugged is also critical. Feeling far more intoxicated than expected, extreme drowsiness, memory gaps, or sudden confusion can all signal danger. If something feels wrong, the priority is getting to safety with someone trusted or seeking medical care.
Reporting concerns, even when details feel incomplete, can also help prevent similar incidents. Patterns matter, and sharing information can protect others.
@notshelbae ♬ original sound – NOTSHELBAE
Commenters Share Their Reactions
In the comments, viewers reflected on how common stories like hers are.
“I haven’t been drinking for several years. Alcohol puts you in such a vulnerable position,” one person wrote.
“You were lucky. Never ever stay when your friends leave,” another said.
Others focused on the broader issue. “Unfortunately, there are probably thousands of stories just like hers that people are afraid to go public with,” one commenter wrote.
“Unfortunately, being a woman is terrifying,” chimed in another.
The Mary Sue has reached out to @notshelbae via TikTok messages for comment.
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