Woman goes on museum date with 41-year-old man. Two days later, she gets a text—she can’t believe what he’s asking her to do: ‘Diabolical’
A first date can be the start of a new and exciting relationship. Clicking with someone sends sparks flying and butterflies fluttering, as if you’re floating on air. Everything seems to be going well–until the bill arrives and the man does something to snuff the flames of romance: expecting you to shell out your expenses. It’s a tale as old as time–at least in modern dating it is.
We’ve seen this act blindside women in countless social media dating horror stories, from paying for her $5 coffee to covering the tab on drinks. One man even ripped the rug underneath his date by sending a CashApp request over her meal.
This time, a text message this woman received from a man landed a spot on unchivalrous dating behaviors that made her cut contact with him.
The Text That Killed The Date
Germany-based TikToker Hayley (@hayleylena_) details the backstory in the first photo of her slideshow. She is sitting outside on a bench, surrounded by a field of flowers.
“He texted me this 2 days after our first date that he planned. (He’s a 41 year old man),” she writes in the text overlay.
Then, the second slide is a screenshot of the man’s message. At first, it was sweet and innocent. “Hey,” he begins, accompanied by the classic smiley face emoticon. “Loved the time we had at the museum.” But the rest kills the mood. “Did you wanna PayPal me the cost of your ticket?”
Instantly, these words permanently destroyed a potential second date for Hayley. “Was it wrong that I blocked him?” she asks in the caption.
From there, she adds more context. “LOL this was my test the waters again date, seriously.. my first, ‘first date’ in nearly 2 years because my last relationship was a meet cute and we hung out all night, so we technically never had that awkward first date.”
Needless to say, Hayley doesn’t intend to return to the dating scene in the foreseeable future. “I will go back into my turtle shell, it’s weird out here.”
Viewers Backed Her
Hayley’s slideshow amassed 2 million views, where many wouldn’t have silently severed ties but rather given him clever responses.
“‘Thats so considerate of you to ask. No,’” one viewer said she should’ve responded.
“‘After calculating the time it took me to get ready and time spent with you at the museum, it turns out you owe me $500 minus the cost of the ticket,’” another shared a potential response.
“I would [have replied] : ‘who are you?’” a third said.
Moreover, others revealed their similar stories of how chivalry is slowly dying.
“I once agreed in advance to pay for my ticket to London Zoo on a date, and when we got to the gate he let me pay for my ticket then whipped out a 2-for-1 voucher and got in for free,” one commenter recalled.
“Lol i went to a free event as a date once, the guy bought me flowers. When I said I wasn’t interested in him romantically, he asked for the cost of the flowers back,” a second recounted.
Who Should Pay For The First Date?
As a rule of thumb, it’s been traditionally expected for the man to cover the costs. However, as societal norms shift toward equality, so does the dating sphere. Since women are in the workforce more than ever and earning their own income, splitting the bill has become a more common debate. Therefore, Delish states that whoever initiates the date should foot the bill regardless of gender. But the date should have money on hand. To spare the confusion, payment can be discussed beforehand.
The Mary Sue reached out to Hayley via Instagram direct message and TikTok comment.
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