Remembering James Van Der Beek’s Best Moments on ‘Don’t Trust The B in Apartment 23’
"You're everywhere and nowhere, Dawson!"
It’s been heartening to see, in light of James Van Der Beek’s untimely passing, that real ones know the titular star of Dawson’s Creek did his best work as himself on the short-lived Don’t Trust The B in Apartment 23. The best JVDB episodes and arcs on Don’t Trust The B proved Van Der Beek was as good at making us laugh in wacky sitcom shenanigans as he was at making us cry in a coming-of-age drama.
Van Der Beek was a key, but a supporting player on Don’t Trust The B. The show starred Dreama Walker as June, a fresh as a daisy New York City transplant. Krysten Ritter plays her roommate and “the B” in question, Chloe. Even though Chloe could be mean and less than ideal as a roommate, she was an incredibly loyal friend. That was especially true when it came to her canonical celebrity bestie James Van Der Beek, or “JVDB” for short.
The way he’s portrayed–a total fabrication, OFC–makes sense for the sort of low level celebrity that a scheming socialite like Chloe would tag along. The fictional JVDB was desperate, slutty, and flanked by a long-suffering personal assistant Luther (Ray Ford). He was always up to stuff, either in the background or at the forefront of the episode. Here are some memorable moments:
The Ones Where JVDB Went On Dancing With The Stars
Episodes: “Whatever It Takes…”, “The Leak…”, “Shitagi Nashi…”, “Bar Lies…”
Let’s start here, because it requires a major disclaimer and PSA. The original run of Don’t Trust The B in Apt. 23 aired out of order. (Several episodes didn’t even air until the show hit streaming platforms and a DVD release.) Most of the time, a shuffle like that shouldn’t affect a sitcom. It’s more common now than it was before 2012, but shows like that aren’t traditionally supposed to have intricate stoylines that span over multiple episodes. This ain’t Lost, you know?
However, there was a mini arc on Don’t Trust The B that suffered from this: the saga of James competing on Dancing with the Stars. Over several episodes, he experienced the trials and tribulations of the reality competition series, including professional partners and dressing room size. His performance was a disaster on the show. But there was a post-credits scene at the end of “Bar Lies…” in which the real real Van Der Beek broke the fourth wall to perform the number for real since they’d spent so long rehearsing.
You can find the correct episode order on various blogs/message boards online and here, courtesy of Paste Magazine, to experience this hilarious tragedy in his glory.
The One Where JVBD’s Bender Turns Into The Great Gatsby
Episode: “A Weekend in the Hamptons…”
Following the Dancing with the Stars debacle, James drove the narrative in what was supposed to be the Season 1 finale. Depressed and humiliates, he embarks on a bender in the Hamptons. But, because this is JVDB, the concept of a bender becomes almost spiritual. One man’s drunken escapades are another (rich and famous) man’s journey of self-discovery, after all. The Long Island sojourn also reveals that Chloe is the Daisy to a hipster named Willoughby’s Jay Gatsby. It’s a great episode!
The One Where JVDB Does A Movie With Kiernan Shipka
Episode: “Parent Trap…”
JVDB isn’t the only celebrity who plays themselves over Don’t Trust the B‘s short-lived run. But my personal favorite is “la Shipka herself,” the then Mad Men star. Fictional James’ spent a decent part of the series chasing film roles that would distance himself from Dawson’s Creek. He worked with Guy Ritchie and auditioned for both Martin Scorsese and (yikes) Woody Allen. In this episode, he gets cast in a classic body swap comedy like Freaky Friday and 17 Again and really wants to impress his young costar. However, the two quickly realize that a father and daughter changing places is decidedly not funny.
The One Where JVDB Is People’s “Sexiest Man Alive”
Episode: “Sexy People…”
This is my favorite episode of Don’t Trust The B. It’s one of my favorite episodes of television, period. Chloe runs an experiment on June, as she is wont to do, to prove that People‘s “Sexiest Man Alive” is meaningless. She walks into the magazine like she owns it and gets them to drop their previous plans and bestow the honor on her bestie. All of a sudden, June sees James in a different light. It works so well as a sitcom schtick and a commentary on celebrity and/or media. Don’t let a magazine control you!!
The One Where JVDB Is Scared Of Halloween
Episode: “Love and Monsters…”
We meet Chloe’s match and only true romantic interest, Benjamin (Ben Lawson) on the show at James’ positive-vibes-only party on October 31. Only treats, no tricks or scary costumes allowed!
The One Where JVDB Makes Up A Dating Show
Episode: “Dating Games…”
If you only have time to watch one episode of Don’t Trust The B, this is my runner-up after “Sexy People…” because it really allowed Van Der Beek to let loose as a comedic actor. There’s also a very funny reveal/framing that explains how the episode is able to excuse reality-style confessionals. I love when sitcoms play with structure!! In this episode, both Chloe and June show interest in the same guy (a rare occurrence for them, TBH) and James uses it as an excuse to test his game show hosting skills. He pits them against each other. He gives them a series of silly escalating challenges, spills actual personal secrets under the guise of a gimmick in his made-up game called a “mind fork,” and enthusiastically sports an old-timey microphone.
The Ones Where JVDB Has A Jeans Line
Episodes: “Making Rent…”, “Teddy Trouble…”
James’ dalliance into fashion is almost as embarrassing as his stint on Dancing with the Stars. His “Beek Jeans” are perfect joke fodder. The billboard ad is embarrassing. The jeans are so super-skinny (oh, 2012…) that they’re impossible to work in. And they resurface, a full season later, at a sample sale.
The Ones Where JVDB Is Someone’s Hall Pass
Episodes: “The Wedding…”, “Monday June…”
We’ve all had conversations about who our “celebrity hall pass” would be with friends and/or significant others. But Don’t Trust the B was brave and bold enough to play out, for comedy, how meeting your celebrity hall pass might work. To up the ante, this happened at the pass holder’s own wedding. June takes James as her +1 to a friend’s wedding she was supposed to go to with her ex in order to make him jealous. The bride reveals that the Dawson’s Creek star is her person, and James takes that very seriously. What happens at that wedding, however, does not stay at the wedding and comes back to haunt James in Season 2.
The One Where JVDB Becomes BFFs with June’s Mom
Episode: “Bar Lies…”
I’m repeating an episode here, because technically the scene that reveals this fun character dynamic is part of the Dancing with the Stars arc, but it’s just so charming! So many of the caricatured James Van Der Beek storylines make him look vain and oblivious–which is always funny. But secretly becoming Skype* friends with June’s suburban, Midwestern mother Connie Colburn was a nice wholesome break.
*Skype is a video chat platform we used before the entire world pivoted to Zoom for some reason.
The One Where JVDB Agrees To A Dawson’s Creek Reunion
Episode: “A Reunion…”
Finally, the episode that ABC aired as the Season 2 premiere is an absolute highlight. In it, June learns that Chloe has been sending James fake invites to Dawson’s Creek reunions, so that he can feel superiod by tearing them up, for years. It features excellent cameos from Busy Phillips, Mark-Paul Gosselaar, and Frankie Muniz all playing themselves. James insists that Joshua Jackson is in love with him at least three times. The episode weighs the pros and cons of cast reunions well before reboot and revival season culture blew up. Just as a fair warning: the episode does open with June, Chloe, and Luther giving James a an illegal Viking funeral in Central Park.
(featured image: ABC)
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