‘Please bring a sandwich and a chair’: Bride sends out her wedding invitations. Then she receives a shocking anonymous letter
An RSVP matters when you’re planning a wedding. They don’t just help you figure out how many plates you’re serving, but also how the venue sets up the space, how much food you’re paying for, and whether your night feels full or oddly empty.
For most couples, getting those responses back is mostly about logistics.
That’s why sending one in feels like a basic courtesy. Still, some people wonder if pushing too hard for a wedding RSVP crosses a line. Is it rude? Is it passive-aggressive? Or does it make sense?
TikTok creator Morgan Beseman (@morganwagner612) found herself at the center of that debate after receiving an anonymous letter criticizing how she asked guests to RSVP.
Her video, which racked up more than 2.4 million views, shows the invite in question and the note that followed.
What Did She Write On The Wedding Invitation?
In her video, Morgan explains that she and her husband got married on June 7, 2025, and that everything about their wedding reflected who they are and where they’re from.
“Front side of our invites just had all the basic wedding information,” she explains, holding one up on camera. “And then the backside had, ‘please RSVP by May 1st, scan the QR code, send me a text, or call me.’”
Then she shares the line that sparked the reaction.
“And this little spot right here says, ‘if not, please bring a sandwich and a chair,’” she says. “That was my nice way of saying, if you don’t RSVP, I’m not going to be accounting you to eat with us on our big day.”
Morgan adds that she and her husband invited a lot of people and simply didn’t have the time to track everyone down individually. “I also did not have the time to sit and text everybody to see if they were coming,” she says.
She also points out that the tone fit their wedding. “We are both from very, very small towns,” she explains. “So we were not a black-tie, very formal. Our wedding reception was in a community center. It’s very fitting, and it’s very us.”
What Did The Letter Say?
After sending the invitations, Morgan says they received an anonymous letter reacting to that one line. She shared the contents of it in full.
“TO THE SOON TO BE BESEMANS,” the anonymous letter begins.
“We received your wedding invitation,” it reads, before immediately taking issue with the RSVP wording. “My teeth fell out of my mouth when we read the back side for RSVPing.”
The writer then questions how the phrasing made it onto the invitation in the first place. “But who came up with your choice of wording, if a person doesn’t reply,” the letter continues, adding that it had been shared with others. “We’ve showed it to many of our friends and they can’t believe someone would put that on a wedding invitation.”
According to the letter, those friends had strong reactions. “Words a lot of them said were RUDE, DISRESPECTFUL, NO WAY.”
From there, the writer makes it clear they will not be attending. “Needless to say we won’t be attending after receiving and reading your invitation,” the letter states.
The message then leans into the couple’s joke. “HERE’S OUR SANDWICHES,” it reads, with the sender taping a newspaper ad for a $14.49 Whopper large meal for two to the letter.
“AND OUR CHAIRS,” the letter continues, accompanied by two printed cutouts of chairs taped to the page.
The note closes with one final jab. “That’s our gift and I hope more invited people share in giving you coal,” it says, before signing off, “Happy marriage.”
Commenters Heavily Side With The Couple
In the comments, viewers overwhelmingly defended Morgan and her husband.
“My brother and his wife didn’t put the address of their wedding on their invites, you had to RSVP to get it,” one person wrote. “And they still had so many people complain about not having an address.”
Another pointed out the tone of the letter itself, writing, “Know this is from someone older with the double spacing between each sentence!”
Others suggested turning the note into part of the celebration. “I would put it on display at the reception and have people vote on who they think sent it,” one person joked.
“If they feel so strongly then why is it anonymous?” another asked.
“I would have framed and displayed that at the wedding,” someone else added.
@morganwagner612 We received an anonymous letter after we sent out our wedding invitations. The backside of the invite said to “bring a chair and a sandwich” if people did not RSVP. Let me know what you think. #fyp#2025bride#june2025wedding#weddinginvitation#weddingplanning ♬ original sound – Morgan Beseman
Is It Rude To Not RSVP To A Wedding?
According to wedding professionals on Quora, not responding is widely considered a breach of etiquette.
“Yes it is rude, unthinking and inexcusable,” wrote one former wedding director, who shared an example involving a chapel with a strict seating limit. As RSVPs came in, the couple was able to invite additional friends, ultimately filling the space. “Funny as it sounds the guests invited in the ‘second round’ of invitations were not upset,” they wrote.
Another commenter shared a more logistical perspective, explaining how caterers charge per person. “If you just do not show do I send you a bill for what I have to pay anyway?” they asked. “Or conversely if I have 30 RSVP and you decide to show up without telling me do I scramble and hope the venue has another table set up, plates, chairs, not to mention food and beverage.”
The Mary Sue has reached out to Beseman via TikTok messages for more information.
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