‘There are tell-tale signs’: Minnesota Wedding planner says this one thing a groom does predicts marriage will fail
Every wedding planner has seen some messy relationships, but one Minnesota TikToker claims she can predict which marriages are doomed from the moment they start planning. Birdie (@birdie1216), known for spilling insider tea from years of coordinating “I do’s” and “don’t you dares,” says she can spot a cursed marriage before the vows are even exchanged.
Apparently, there are five dead giveaways that a groom’s heart (or head) isn’t in it. She’s talking about the fiancés that mock the wedding, ignore bachelor party boundaries, and can’t care less about planning. Or—worst of all—had to be talked into proposing. In other words, if he’s rolling his eyes now, just wait until the honeymoon’s over.
What are the Biggest Red Flags in a Marriage?
The Mary Sue has covered Birdie before when she went viral with a whopping 3.8 million views on a TikTok. In it, she stated, “I can tell if they will divorce before a marriage happens.”
Since it seems the topic lit up a flame on TikTok, Birdie has returned with a new series: “How to tell a marriage is going to fail.” She previously did a ‘Bride’ edition for this series and now her ‘Groom’ clip is quickly gaining traction and already has up to 225,000 views.
Birdie’s 5 signs might sound obvious, but she explains exactly why this means the man in a tux is hiding a giant red flag. First, she mentions, “The first sign is if the groom isn’t interested at all. I don’t mean that they’re not the main planner… I mean, they’re like ‘I don’t care.’”
The next two signs are straightforward: if he is disrespectful to anyone in the bride’s wedding party. Or if he doesn’t respect the bachelor party boundaries. The last two are arguably the most important. Birdie says, “Making dismissive comments about the wedding, like ‘whatever,’ ‘I don’t care,’ and ‘let’s get it done.”
Lastly and most importantly, she reveals, “If it was any kind of a push for them to propose. So, every girl deserves to be proposed to in a traditional, surprising way, and if he had to be pushed to do it, or didn’t do it all, if it was more like a business discussion, that marriage isn’t going to work out.” As she says in her text overlay, ‘The marriage could fail if the groom does any of these.’
What Other Red Flags Should We Know Of?
Birdie opened quite the dam holding back other red flags TikTok users know or even personally experienced. One red flag a viewer shared was, “The groom allows his mother to take control of wedding planning.”
Interestingly enough, that’s a whole other can of worms to begin with. The Mary Sue has covered horror stories concerning weddings and mothers-in-law. For example, the time one wanted to wear a bridal gown to her son’s wedding. Or the time a soon-to-be mother-in-law bought a ‘light pink’ dress that obviously looked matrimonial.
Another viewer shares, “If one person has to give the other an ultimatum in order to get engaged/married.” While another asks, “What about a groom that doesn’t want to talk about the wedding or plan it at all after he proposes.”
There were a few disagreements because of cultural differences. One viewer shares, “That last one is interesting because in my family, and I suspect in the French culture in general, engagements were never big surprises before we got influenced by the American culture. A couple would discuss getting married and would plan a dinner so their families could meet, but not a lot was left as a one-sided surprise.”
@birdie1216 Signs your marriage will fail before the wedding – groom edition #wedding #weddingplanning #bridetok #groom ♬ original sound – Birdie
Either way, all these points need some good analysis before jumping the broom.
The Mary Sue reached out to the creator via email.
Update Oct. 27, 2025:
In an email to the Mary Sue, Birdie–a wedding planner of over 23 years–says she keeps close contact with her previous clients.
“I develop a close friendship with some of my brides and yes,” she says, “everything I mentioned I have seen cause extreme problems in the marriage or divorce.” She continues that it’s the “saddest” part of her job.
The inspiration for the video came when Birdie did a bride’s second wedding after having done her first.
“I know during her first marriage that it wasn’t going to work based on some of the things I mentioned, and I knew during her second marriage that it was going to be a match made in heaven,” she shares.
Birdie reveals that there are many “red flags” people can watch out for, but note it’s hard to do so when blinded by love right before the wedding.
“It’s rare that anyone will actually call the wedding off,” she says. “Just remember, we know the big reasons why people get divorced. What you need to do is look for them in microdoses during the wedding planning. Things that seem small, what is the underlying tone of that, and is that something that is common for people to get a divorce over?”
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