Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day, everyone! If there’s one thing I love, it’s… well, not pirates. Doughnuts. But if the opportunity presents itself to dress up as a pirate and get free doughnuts, I am there. Which is why I say on this, the tenth annual Talk Like a Pirate Day: Thank you, Krispy Kreme, for giving me that opportunity.
Today and today only, select locations of the best doughnut chain in the country (sit down Dunkin’ Donuts, you don’t even spell “doughnuts” correctly) will give you a dozen doughnuts for free if you come in dressed as a pirate and a single free doughnut if you talk like one. So, of course, 7:30 this morning saw me donning my costume to visit the Big Apple’s only KK. After getting a few YARRRGHs from passersby, giving a few myself, and being interviewed by a journalism student camped out at the Kreme for a story on the world’s only pirate-themed holiday (I assume it is, anyway—if there’s another, I would be very interested to know about it as I want to get as much use out of my pirate hat as I possibly can), I walked back to the subway with my head held high, hat swaying softly in the wind (dramatic license is OK on Talk Like a Pirate Day, savvy?), and a box with a dozen glazed in my greedy little hands. My pirate boots might be a little bit uncomfortable, but it’s worth it, dammit.
And because no Talk Like a Pirate Day is complete without an appearance from the greatest pirate actor of our era, Tim Curry, (sorry, Johnny Depp) here’s Professional Pirate from Muppet Treasure Island. So let fly a mighty AVAST YE, MATEY, watch the video (singing along, of course), and then let us know how you celebrated the world’s most Internet era-ish holiday.