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She Turned Me Into a Newt!

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters Trailer Gives Us Our First Good Look at Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

by Susana Polo | 3:34 pm, September 4th, 2012


We’re holding out hope that Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, featuring a kickass sibling team up, will be something of a buddy cop movie… if cops were witch killers… in an over the top period fantasy piece. The characters have double billing, and after all, it’s not like they’re going to have a romantic subplot. This trailer doesn’t exactly confirm that hope, though we still hold it. Rest assured, however, that we’ll have a review up on it as close to its release date as possible.

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  • Anonymous

    Historical Character, Vampire Hunter, Fairy Tale Character, Witch Hunter. This is an interesting trend in movie-dom. Time to start sketching out ideas involving Boadicea and Werewolves, Leonardo Da Vinci and Mummies, or Marie Antoinette and Aliens.

  • Anonymous

    Between ye olde machine gun and dialogue like “Hell, yeah!” and “You gotta be kidding me”….I’m out.

  • http://twitter.com/mildeabandon Eudora Quilt

    It looks positively awful. Gretel headbutting the major indicates a very tedious notion of a strong female character… Hansel apparently gets a love interest, I guess, Gretel will be the sidekick, business as usual. Sadly, no trace of a buddy-cop vibe.

  • Anonymous

    Boadicea could be interesting.
    I really want to like Renner but something about his V.O. for this makes me go eeeeh, probably going to be a Redbox movie only movie. It looks like it’s going to be something like the Brother Grimm. If there’s a boy eating horse again, I’m swearing off this type of movie for good.

  • Terence Ng

    …They know that Hansel and Gretel are diminutives, right? Two grown adults walking around all bad ass saying “Hi, I’m Margie, and this is my brother, Johnny.” It would have been a bit cooler and a bit more insightful to have them call themselves Johannes and Margaret, even if the title stayed as it was.

  • http://www.facebook.com/charlotte.mann.796 Charlotte Mann

    Wow it looks almost as bad as Van Helsing. Why couldn’t Jeremy Renner be arsed to do a german accent. Its getting really getting tedious how all the fairy tails have to have gritty reboots now.

  • Anonymous

    I wish they had some kind of accent. Because its clearly set in Euro-fairy tale land.
    I feel like this is gong to be very bad but me loving fairy tales means I will probably go see it anyway,

  • http://www.facebook.com/hailey.ferraro Hailey Ferraro

    Wow… Jeremy Renner had so much stock in Hollywood after the Avengers… it’s a shame to see him blow it so fast… although, if I squint… and drink myself silly… can I pretend I’m going to see, “Budapest”?

  • Elisa Redmond

    Eeh, whatever about Renner, the sister seems a bit wooden… Maybe the actress mistook the movie for Pinnochio…
    I agree with the ‘hell yeah’ and ‘you gotta be kidding me’ looks like a really bad Van Helsing ripoff. Lemme guess the ‘not-witches’ they are really fighting is actually the bleddy Pied Piper or summat.

  • Anonymous

    Oh dear lord – didn’t Hollywood learn anything from the van Helsing fiasco!!?
    Machine guns, over-the-top kitsch, leather ooutfits – and no real magic anywhere to be seen.
    Jeremy – don’t become the new Jackman. Please!!

  • http://wrongsirwrong.blogspot.com/ Magic Xylophone

    “I don’t think we’re hunting witches.”

    -Hansel, Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

    *sigh*

  • mwakholi

    So, I’m assuming Renner can’t do accents, and they had Arterton play along for consistency.

    I’ve got a bad feeling about this.

  • TKS

    I would buy the crap out of Marie Antoinette: Alien Hunter tickets.

    “Let them eat bullets.” BA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA

  • yolo

    you should watch the red band trailer

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