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A Very Sarcastic Post: The Privilege of Gaming While Female

/sarcasm

A Very Sarcastic Post by Frances.

If you’ve had the privilege of partaking in some sweet online gaming while female, then you must be aware of the many benefits that go along with that experience. I mean, in a perfect world everyone would be judged solely on their skills and not their genitals or cup size, but who are we kidding? The gaming world is a man’s world and we’re just lucky to be a part of it, amrite? Misogyny, rape jokes and anti-LGBT slurs are just par for the course, you hare-brained slags! If you can’t take the heat, then get off the server. It’s not as if things like skill level, ingenuity or intelligence are completely ignored once the resident online-gaming cretins realize you’re a chick! As anyone will tell you, the dudes have it just as bad… no, worse! Just ask any DudeBro on Xbox Live.

There’s anecdata, you guys, so it must be true!

As we all know, anyone who finds any fault in the gaming world is just sore loser who can’t hang with the big boys. There are SO many benefits to gaming while female. Benefits like…

  • “What’s your cup size?”

They’re taking an interest in you! As a lowly female gamer you should be honored!

  • General sexual harassment, i.e. the ubiquitous “Lemme see the noodz”

They’re taking even more of an interest. That, or perhaps they’re a videogame-loving gynecologist giving out free breast exams?

  • “Shouldn’t you be playing Barbie Adventure or something?”

Thank you, dear DudeBro gamer, for reminding me of where I belong. Let me get my ass in the kitchen and make you a “thank you” sammie!

  • Being called fat

First of all, we all know that besides what type of genitals you have, your BMI is the second most important thing that determines your worth in the gaming world. Second, these guys are just looking out for you. You being a Fatty McMooCow is bad for you and you know how kind and thoughtful gamer trolls are. It’s about your health.

  • “You must be playing on your boyfriend’s account.”

We all know that silly lay-deez can’t actually be good at games. If you’re gaming while female and happen to have a ton of achievements then it’s obvious that you’re a lying liar who had your boyfriend do all the work. Give credit where credit is due!

  • Threats of rape and/or murder

You mustn’t get too complacent! Constant threats of bodily harm and sexual assault will keep you on your toes!

  • Worship-mode

Of course, not all attention is “negative.” Plenty of dudes go out of their way to fall all over themselves to curry favor, because boobs. You should appreciate this, being a girl and all. The fact that they let you play at all is a gift.

(Top pic copyright Copyright Ollyy via Shutterstock.)

Frances Locke is a writer living in NYC. She enjoys tearing down the patriarchy, pancakes and long walks on the beach. You can find her on Mommyish.com, on Google+ and Twitter.

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