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hold on to your butts

Dried Giant Beetles Wearing Hand-Made Jurassic Park Costumes are Available on Etsy

by Susana Polo | 10:28 am, December 13th

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Ladies and gentlemen, I am so happy the Internet exists so that today I can show you that, should you so desire, you can buy a giant preserved beetle dressed in the tiny, hand-made replica clothes of a character from Jurassic Park. With matching accessories. Above, an Odontolabis femoralis (commonly known as the stag beetle) as paleobotanist Ellie Sattler. With tiny beetle wig and Triceratops poop-smeared plastic gloves.

The likeness is uncanny!

Next, everyone’s favorite games warden Robert Muldoon is personified by this five-horned rhinoceros beetle (Eupatorus gracilicornis), with gun, and of course, hat.

They spared no expense to get this Centaurus beetle (Augosoma centaurus) to look like John Hammond, complete with hat and what we’re really really hoping is an amber topped cane with a tiny, tiny gnat trapped inside it. Like, really hoping. Beyond all reasonable expectations.

And finally Ian Malcom, in what would surely provoke flashbacks to The Fly in Jeff Goldblum, is portrayed by this Atlas beetle (Chalcosoma caucasus).

Welcome to the internet. Welcome to Etsy.

Welcome to Jurassic Park.

If you’d like to buy any of these here, be warned that they are unique items, so jump on it, and be prepared to shell out more than $100, and yeah, I’d get the expensive shipping option for your dried bugs in tiny costumes. But is that so large a price to pay to make just the right person’s holiday wishes come true?

(Erin Pearce’s Shop via amazing tipster Colleen.)

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  • https://twitter.com/#!/haversam [A]

    I just had a “WTF” moment

  • Anonymous

    We all did, dear.  Don’t worry, it’ll be alright, just have a nice hot mug of cocoa …

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=681460421 Lauron Haney

    I don’t even….

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=681460421 Lauron Haney

    How bad is it that I checked how much they cost before saying ‘no’?

  • Anonymous

    That’s why I don’t go to Etsy. I’m just too weirded out by some stuff there. I’m convinced that one day I’ll be on Etsy and see a picture of me looking at Etsy at that exact moment from a security camera embedded in the wall behind me.

  • Anonymous

    <3

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_R7GVNIKWG3S2UTHEQOMSZXT4M4 Anna B

    I knew they were going to look as bad as they sounded. I knew it. 

  • ZenPoseur

    Finally, someone’s combined my love of Jurassic Park with my love of giant dead beetles dressed in human clothes!

  • Carmen Sandiego

    Very creative, but I feel bad for the bugs.  Were they killed for this purpose?

  • Anonymous

    tinyurl.ie/7fb

  • Brandon Bird

    Erin made these for our no-dinosaurs, humans-only Jurassic Park art show: http://brandonbird.com/jp_show.html

    You can see all seven of the beetles she made, including the ones she sold before putting up her etsy shop, here: http://brandonbird.com/jp_pearce.html

  • Anonymous

    tinyurl.ie/7fb