Woman goes on second date with a man. Then she sees what he texts her before dinner: ‘Should I cancel on him?’
A woman went on a second date with a guy she met. Then, he sent a disappointing text that made her consider canceling the outing entirely.
TikToker Tricia Rose (@triciaaroseee) received a text only a few hours before her date that raised red flags. Commenters emphasized that they would’ve canceled immediately, but Rose quietly distanced herself.
She sent a cool response that had some pushback at first. But, the man doubled down on a “joke” that made her commenters cringe. She then asked her audience whether or not she should cancel in a video with over 1.8 million views, adding, “ I’ve been debating on canceling since I received a message.”
So, what was the text that hit the proverbial nail in the date’s coffin? And why do women find the humor that the date displayed to be such an ick?
What text made her nearly cancel the second date?
Rose didn’t indicate whether or not the last date she went on with this particular person was successful, but she did say, “I really should have reacted waaayyyy more unhinged now that I’m thinking about it.” It’s unclear whether there were previous red flags, but the text itself was enough to consider canceling.
The infamous text read, “We said we’re dressing up. Don’t disappoint me.” While it included a more casual emoji to downplay the message, it still read as controlling and somewhat cringeworthy.
Rose responded, saying, “lol did u think I was gonna come casual?” Her response was cool, but it was also somewhat distanced. Instead of taking the opportunity to recover, though, the man replied, “Good. I plan on being distracted all night.”
Hundreds of Rose’s commenters let her know that it was a big ick for them and they would’ve fled before going on a date with him again.
“He’s far [too] comfortable right away,” one commenter said.
What was so bad about the text?
Viewers pointed out that while the text was definitely meant to be playful, it had an undertone that felt aggressive.
“I know its playful, but it got that angry undertone that throws me off I really dont know how else to explain it,” one commenter said.
Another added, “I get it! Cancel the date, this type of negging won‘t just stop.”
The texts read as prematurely familiar with Rose, which, based on Rose’s description of their interactions, was way too soon to introduce to the relationship. Generally, commenters were right. The messages also contain an authoritative and demanding tone that expects Rose to put on a certain dress or make herself look a certain way for his pleasure—not hers.
Then, he doubles down on that behavior, subtly objectifying her by reiterating that he wanted to be distracted by what she was wearing all night. Texting lacks tone and body language, so all Rose could go off was this man’s behavior. Texting can also easily negatively or positively impact an individual’s perceptions of their dates, making it that much easier to screw up a connection.
Based on Rose’s response, the man’s texts made him seem creepy and hard to stomach. There’s a possibility that this line would have worked better in an in-person conversation, but commenters emphasized that it was just too soon for him to make any sort of joke about expecting her to look a certain way.
Commenters emphasized that while it could be playful now, it might turn into Rose’s future later. That’s why they urged her to reconsider her plans.
@triciaaroseee I really should have reacted waaayyyy more unhinged now that I’m thinking about it
♬ original sound – Tricia Rose
We’ve reached out to Rose via email for more information. We’ll let you know if she responds.
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