‘My biggest fear’: Woman sits alone at a hotel bar. Then she gets mistaken for something she’s not. Now she’s warning other ‘attractive’ women
In a video with 84,000 views, @sosexynomi expressed how difficult it is to go out at night. “Unfortunately, you cannot be an attractive woman and sit at a hotel bar without people thinking that you’re a [expletive] escort,” she said.
Since posting on Dec. 17, many commenters have reflected on their own experiences with men hitting on them, being treated like night workers, even when they’re minding their own business.
Going to a bar turns into a chancy encounter with a sleazy man
@sosexynomi noticed that men have a tendency to approach her even when she’s clearly not interested. On a recent trip, a man sat next to her while she was visiting her hotel’s bar. He then proceeded to continually ask her questions and try to get her to come home with him.
The TikToker reflected on the encounter, saying, “He asked me a question, I’m like, ‘mm, I don’t know.’ I can’t even remember what he asked me. But I know I said, ‘Ah, I don’t know.’ And went back to scrolling on my phone. He then looks over and kind of leaned into me and is like, ‘You’re trying too hard to ignore me,’ Sir, are you… trying to recruit me right now?”
She continued, “I literally tell him, ‘get the [expletive] up before I call security because what the [expletive]?’ And it was the sleazy look on his face that had me so creeped out.”
Being mistaken for something you’re not—spirit-breaking and disheartening
For many women, having men hit on them and continuously try to pay their way into sex is not ideal or fun. It ruins solo dates or nights on the town when they just want to have a good time. Commenters on @sosexynomi’s post echoed this, detailing experiences where they, too, felt uncomfortable with a man’s presence near them.
“The last 2x I’ve been in Europe I’ve been approached like this. Unfortunately when [you’re] black and pretty that’s what they assume,” said one commenter.
Another added, “I moved to Vegas from Chicago. I used to love a solo date back home. I overheard a group of men talking about me ‘working’ when I was out solo in Vegas. Outfit was not giving 304 at all. That hurt my little spirit… [I have not] been out since.”
Another woman said a police officer approached her and made multiple jokes about her being a “woman of the night” or an escort. The behavior grossed her out, considering she was just trying to celebrate her birthday. “He [told me] he [was] a cop, and he joked about me being a woman of the night and how he was thinking about catching me [in] a lie,” she detailed.
@sosexynomi ♬ original sound – Philosopher?
As commenters said, this is a “legit” issue that makes it harder to navigate public spaces. This is especially when they just want peace and quiet. Despite this, men, according to @sosexynomi’s comment section, feel “entitled” to ask questions, make assumptions, and believe they deserve to know more about women at bars.
The Mary Sue has reached out to @sosexynomi for comment. We’ll let you know if she responds.
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