What Does It Mean If Your Partner Always Forgets Anniversaries?
Forgetting an anniversary hurts, especially when it’s not the first time. While a partner forgetting an anniversary might not spell total doom for a relationship, it’s something that needs to be addressed for love to flourish. Everyone forgets things from time to time, but if the becomes a consistent pattern, it might be worth reconsidering the relationship in the first place.
How Often Do People Forget Anniversaries?
Despite its emotionally devastating effect, forgetting anniversaries is actually quite a common problem in relationships. According to a survey from Dating.com, 82% of people have forgotten their anniversary at some point in their relationship. Of all the participants who submitted, four out of five were men. A separate study conducted by personalcreations.com found that over one in three men have forgotten their anniversary, and that 30% of women have done the same.
While forgetting an anniversary is so common that it’s become a media trope (often resulting in the offender being exiled to the couch for the night), it can be seriously harmful. 68% of the Dating.com study participants said they would temporarily or permanently break up with a partner for forgetting an anniversary. After all, forgetting an anniversary can make a person feel unloved and undervalued by their partner.
Why Do People Forget?
“Forgetting is human,” says Joshua Klapow, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and host of The Kurre and Klapow Show. “The meaning of this forgetfulness can range from a true accident to a lack of priority around the anniversary date to a lack of priority around the relationship itself.” According to Klapow, the context is everything. If a partner forgot an anniversary during a time of stress, or it simply slipped their mind for the first time, it doesn’t necessarily signal that the relationship is on the rocks. When life gets overwhelming, even the most devoted partner can slip up.
But determining a partner’s devotion is the key. Licensed marriage and family therapist Anita Chlipala says not to assume the worst if the forgetfulness was a “one-time deal.” However, if a person has clearly stated to their partner that they consider anniversaries to be important, and their partner has continued to forget multiple times, it’s “indicative of something that’s more problematic in the relationship.” If one partner consistently forgets or deprioritizes something that the other holds dear, it may be a red flag signifying a lack of consideration or respect for their values or feelings.
What Does It Mean To You?
There’s no easy answer for dealing with forgotten anniversaries, but it may be best to listen to your own feelings and decide for yourself when it happens. If your partner slipped up in what is normally a rock-solid relationship, it’s likely safe to communicate your feelings and move past it. But if your partner’s forgetfulness consistently makes you feel devalued or underappreciated, it might be time to explore other options.
(featured image: Netflix)
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