‘Train Dreams’ shows us how nice it would be if men didn’t make their grief everyone else’s problem
The new film Train Dreams from director Clint Bentley explores one man’s grief and how he copes with the pain of loss. Robert (Joel Edgerton) is just a man who wanted to do right by his family. But there is one important thing Train Dreams teaches us: Men don’t have to make their problems everyone else’s.
While watching Train Dreams, it was abduntantly clear that Robert’s story is one that is heartbreaking. But one thing I will say about this movie is that it features a man who doesn’t make his own pain the problem of people around him. Meaning that, unlike many men out there, Robert isn’t going to lash out because of what happened.
**Spoilers for Train Dreams lie ahead**
Robert works on the train tracks, cutting down trees every season and helping to build bridges and more throughout the season. One season, he makes it home only to realize that his wife and daughter were no longer at their home as a fire tore into town. For a while, Robert believes that they had to flea and are alive and well and it is up for interpretation what happens but many do believe that his wife and daughter died.
But Robert went through his grief, committed to rebuilding his home and surviving for them, whether or not they were to come home to. And it felt so freeing to see a man who was grieving not use his anger as a driving force. Part of the issue with male loneliness and the way we display male grief is all consuming. And, often times, it ends up being everyone else’s problem.
Train Dreams challenges that. Robert is quiet and introspective and doesn’t force everyone to know his pain and that’s rare. And it is why I think Train Dreams is such a special movie. Robert should maybe teach men that you can grieve and be upset but also not make it everyone else’s business.
Train Dreams is streaming on Netflix.
(featured image: Netflix)
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