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Things We Saw Today: Raunchy, NSFW The Happytime Murders Trailer Will Ruin Your Childhood Muppet Memories

I’m … not really sure what to do with this one, friends.

Because our Charline Jao made me watch this with my own two eyes, I feel the need to make the rest of you experience what I experienced. The Happytime Murders is directed by Brian Henson (son of Jim), who gave us such family-oriented puppet delights as Muppet Treasure Island and A Muppet Christmas Carol. This one is not family-friendly by any stretch of the imagination. This thing makes Who Framed Roger Rabbit? look like Teletubbies.

Starring Melissa McCarthy, Joel McHale, Elizabeth Banks, and Maya Rudolph on the human side of things, The Happytime Murders seems like your typical Hollywood private detective murder mystery—except the private detective is made out of felt and stuffing and sass. Here’s the official synopsis: “When the puppet cast of an ’80s children’s TV show begins to get murdered one by one, a disgraced LAPD detective-turned-private eye puppet takes on the case.”

As Slashfilm so astutely notes, “As you can see, these puppets aren’t for kids. They’re trying to suck dicks, forcing humans to do drugs, and jizzing all over the place. That’s honestly not something I’d ever thought that I’d write about a movie, but here we are.”

These are all things that happen in the trailer, so once again, please be aware that this is NSFW and also not safe for me, because I want to go curl up with a stuffed Snuffleupagus and forget that any of this happened.

(via Slashfilm, image: The Jim Henson Company)

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Happiest of weekends! What’d you see today?

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Kaila is a lifelong New Yorker. She's written for io9, Gizmodo, New York Magazine, The Awl, Wired, Cosmopolitan, and once published a Harlequin novel you'll never find.