‘The Epstein Files!’ SNL points to the strangest cause of the gas price spikes
The latest Saturday Night Live skit happened at the most expensive place on earth—the gas station. With the soaring gas prices, the show could only point to one culprit. And no, it’s not the war in Iran.
The cold open started with a family of four on their way to a grandmother’s house. When the father told them that he would have to refill the gas tank to full, the mother freaked out. “Fill up? Not all the way though, right?” she lamented. “We have to!” The father insisted, even if the cost is a whopping $5 per gallon.
“Kids, we’re going to have to leave one of you behind,” the mother dramatically said. Since when did SNL start doing melodrama? With these rising prices, who could blame the writers? When the son finally asked why the gas prices are so high, President Donald Trump, played by James Johnson, appeared.
“The Epstein Files!” He hollered, pointing to the controversy as the cause of the Iran war—thus, the reason why gas prices are inhumanely high at the moment. Johnson continued, “Kidding, but possibly not.”
Who’s surprised that Johnson mentioned the controversial files? Nobody, especially when the president’s name has appeared 1,500 times in the Epstein files for reasons still unknown. Trump reportedly had a close relationship with the pedophilic financier. The SNL skit points to the speculation that Trump may have started the war to keep the Epstein files off media headlines.
Despite Trump’s record as a sexual deviant, his involvement in the Epstein files remains a mystery for now.
Timothée Chalamet and Harry Styles get a shoutout
“Anyway, hi, it’s me, Donald Trump. You might remember me from such campaign promises as ‘lower gas prices’ and ‘no more wars.’ Sike!” Johnson jokes, although it feels true to life given how both promises have not been fulfilled by the Trump administration. “We love to make promises, because a promise is just a lie that hasn’t happened yet. But now it has, and gas costs like a million billion dollars a gallon.”
Johnson adds, “And as for the stock market, let me put it in a way that the Harry Styles fans in the crowd will understand. The stock market is going in one direction: down!” It’s a jaw-dropping reference to Styles’ former band, One Direction. Every self-professed Directioner would be screaming in the crowd if the stock market weren’t plummeting at the moment.
Johnson’s Trump continues, “But we will win this war because Iran is old and nobody likes them. Iran is like ballet and opera, and we’re Timmy Chalamet.” The joke references Chalamet’s controversial comments against the art form, which caused a social media storm against the actor. Needless to say, Chalamet’s reputation as the profound, art-oriented performer isn’t likely to recover.
After taking a jab at the performers behind him, Johnson goes back to his impersonation. “The point is, I have everything under control, okay? I’ve been meeting with the nation’s top minds, Jake Paul? He was booed very badly in the Mike Tyson fight, and we hate to hear boos,” said like Trump himself.
Pete ‘booze’ Hegseth enters the scene
Nobody can top Colin Jost’s impression of Pete Hegseth, not when he stumbles out of a car with a ton of beer cans falling as he opens the door. It’s a drinking problem that not even an intervention can help with.
“Did someone say booze?” Jost appears, mistaking “boos” for “booze.” He proceeds to thank Johnson for “size 16 Florsheim shoes.” A few days ago, it was reported that Trump had given the men in his presidential cabinet black Florsheim oxfords—but they were noticeably too big for everyone he had given them to. Johnson exits the frame, leaving Jost behind to declare victory over Iran. So, is the war over? Neither SNL nor the actual White House knows.
Have a tip we should know? [email protected]
