California bartender observes married man being inappropriate with his best friend’s wife. Then his wife calls the bar
What should you do when you see a married person being inappropriate with someone who is not their spouse?
It’s a surprisingly common question. Depending on the situation, one’s response can vary considerably. For example, if it seems like the person is harassing an individual, it may be appropriate to step in, distract the person doing the harassment, or seek assistance.
However, in cases where it appears someone is cheating on their partner, many find themselves dumbstruck. Is it right to tell the partner directly? Or are there other steps one should take?
Now, a user on TikTok is sharing her own “caught cheating” story—even though she was allegedly offered $2,000 not to.
What Happened To This Bartender?
In a video with over 102,000 views, TikTok user Lacey (@reallifewithlacey) begins a story about how she caught a man cheating on his wife “with her best friend.”
According to Lacey, the individual in question was “very charismatic.”
“He has a bunch of little minions that follow him around, do exactly what he says,” she states.
Lacey says that many believed the man to be unfaithful to his wife. The primary reason for this belief was that he was “just so flirty with people.”
One day, Lacey says she was working at the bar when he and a group of his friends came in. At the time, they were already intoxicated.
“I had seen him grab…his wife’s best friend’s a– — which, he’s also best friends with the wife’s best friend’s husband,” Lacey recalls. “I didn’t say anything. I’m just like, ‘F—, okay, maybe they’re swingers.’ F—, I don’t f—ing know!”
Lacey states that she discussed the matter with a co-worker, who was also familiar with the couple. Soon after, she got a call.
What Happened Next?
Lacey says that later, she received a call from the man’s wife.
“She’s like, ‘Hey, I just wanna know, have you ever seen, you know, my husband do anything inappropriate?’” Lacey recalls. “And I’m just like, ‘Motherf—ing s—.’”
“That puts me in a bad spot, OK? Being behind the bar, we see some s—,” she continues. “We see some shit that we don’t f—g talk about, right? Because just like, f—, everyone’s drunk, acting stupid and like, we see some s—.”
Before Lacey could formulate a response, the man’s wife asked if she specifically had seen anything happen between her husband and her best friend.
“I was like, ‘Listen, I don’t know anything, but I do know that I have witnessed inappropriate actions. Nothing crazy, but I wouldn’t be cool with it,’” Lacey states.
A few minutes after the call ended, Lacey says she received another call, this time from the man.
“I get a call from the husband being like, ‘What the f—? You’re trying to break us up?’ And I’m like, ‘Are you f—ing serious?’” Lacey says. “I could care less about your f—g marriage. She contacted me. I didn’t even tell her that I saw you grab her f—ing a–. I just said, ‘Yeah, I have seen you be flirty.’”
The Group Turns
After this phone call, Lacey says the man began telling people that she, Lacey, was “trying to break them up.” While Lacey says she wasn’t particularly hurt by this, noting that she was not close friends with them, she still cites the experience as a reason she “never get[s] in the middle of people’s bulls—.”
However, after several months of denial, Lacey says the truth eventually came out.
“Now, I’m not the bad guy,” she states. “I wasn’t the liar.”
While Lacey doesn’t finish the story, she notes that she was offered $2,000 not to tell it at all. She says she refused this money, and the man’s reasoning for offering it—not wanting his partner to “relive” the experience—didn’t add up.
“I guarantee she relives it in her f—ing brain every second of every day, because that’s what happens,” she states. “We relive it. There’s no forgiving.”
Commenters Have Thoughts
People are generally divided on whether it’s appropriate to tell on a cheater. A 2017 YouGov UK survey found that only around half of people polled would tell their friend if they were being cheated on. That said, most respondents said they would like to know if their partner was cheating on them.
There are reasons for this that extend beyond mere claims that it’s “none of my business.” For example, there’s data to suggest that accusations of infidelity can trigger incidents in violent individuals. One may simply wait to inform a partner of infidelity until the safety of all parties can be assured.
In the comments section, users told their own stories involving infidelity.
“My wife of 20 years got a boyfriend 1 mile from where we lived!” said a user. “They are now married and seem happy and I am remarried to a gal who liked me back in school who I had no idea had a crush on me! God is good.”
Others simply offered their thoughts on the situation.
“Part of bartending is keeping deep dark secrets of everyone and acting like you can’t remember anything if questioned. They always shoot the messenger,” stated another user.
@reallifewithlacey You know it’s a good story when they try to bribe you from telling it… #reallifewithlacey #cheater #storytime #dotell #drama ♬ original sound – The Real Life With Lacey
The Mary Sue reached out to Lacey via TikTok and Instagram direct message.
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