Atlanta woman plans date with Hinge match. Then he creeps on her Instagram. Was his reaction a ‘humiliation ritual?’: ‘It’s so evil’
It’s no secret that people are having a hard time finding a long-term partner through dating apps. Women have it especially gnarly.
Beyond the usual ghosting and being left wondering exactly what went wrong, there’s also a lack of care and attention when meeting up for the first time. One woman reported spending time getting ready for a coffee shop date to find the man had already ordered only his coffee.
Then there’s getting discarded for something minimal, thanks to the many “fish” in the dating app “sea.” One woman says a man cancelled their first date simply after she told him she doesn’t drink.
Now, TikTok creator Angie Cotti (@angiecotti) says her Hinge date intentionally put her through what she described as a “humiliation ritual.”
What Did Her Hinge Match Do?
“I’m really trying not to crash out right now,” she begins. “But I’m actually really [expletive].”
Cotti explains that she had recently matched with a man on Hinge and initially felt optimistic about the connection.
“I matched with this guy on Hinge,” she says. “He’s really chatty, funny, playful.”
According to Cotti, the conversation progressed quickly. The man asked for her phone number, and the two had plans to go out the following night.
“We were gonna go out tomorrow night, right?” she says.
At one point, she says, the man texted her his Instagram handle. “He texted me, ‘Hey, here’s my Instagram, creep if you want to,’” Cotti recalls.
She says she looked him up, noticed his account was private, and sent a follow request. That’s when he did something she didn’t expect.
“I go back to Hinge,” she says, “and he unmatched me.”
At first, Cotti says she tried to rationalize it. “I was like, ‘Oh, that’s weird. Maybe because he already has my number,’” she explains.
Then She Checks Instagram Again
“I’m like, ‘I’m gonna see if he accepted my follow request,’” she says. “Blocked on Instagram.”
Cotti says the sudden unmatching and block left her flabbergasted. “How is that supposed to make me feel?” she asks.
She acknowledges that the simplest explanation may be that he just wasn’t interested, but says the way it unfolded wasn’t right. “I’m like, ‘Did he look at my Instagram and think I was ugly?’” she wonders.
Cotti becomes more emotional as she talks about dating in general in this day and age.
“I am really having a hard time with dating,” she says. “And I don’t know how to make that not about me, because that really hurt my feelings.”
She ends the video sounding exhausted and discouraged. “I just don’t understand these freaking men,” she says. “I am so over this. I don’t want to be doing this.”
While she acknowledges that dating apps are often how people meet now, she questions the emotional toll.
“I know this is how you find people,” Cotti says. “But at what cost?”
Commenters Find the Hinge Match’s Behavior Unsettling
In the comments section, viewers mostly discussed Hinge and dating apps in general.
“I truly believe the men you meet on the apps are people you would never cross paths with in the real world. Most of the men left on there are bizarre,” stated one user. “Free yourself from the apps.”
“Babe you have to change your mindset – the things they do are ALWAYS ABOUT THEM AND NOT YOU,” another chimed in. “What he did was a blessing, he eliminated himself and did you a favor to move forward in your journey. Think in a way that favors you.”
“They do this literally just to upset you,” claimed a third.
Do Dating Apps Actually Produce Marriages?
According to the Pew Research Center, chances for marriage—the most popular choice for long-term commitment—are slim if you’re on a dating app.
Their 2022 survey found that 52% of U.S. adults who have never been married reported using a dating app, compared to just 16% of married respondents.
Elinor Greenberg, Ph.D., wrote about the issue for Psychology Today, saying dating apps lead to mismatches because people end up on dates with someone they never would’ve gone out with if they first met them in person.
Her advice is to prioritize socializing and choosing someone you have a mutual attraction and understanding with before taking things further.
@angiecotti I know I need to put myself out there but good lord I already want to delete it!!!!!! #datinginyour20s #hinge #apps ♬ original sound – angiecotti
The Mary Sue has reached out to Hinge and Cotti via email.
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