California man says he’s attracted to ‘girly girls.’ Then he says they aren’t ‘spontaneous’ enough for him: ‘That’s what friends are for buddy’
A man has the internet talking after claiming his attraction to “girly girls” is causing him problems in the dating world.
In a video with over 5.4 million views, TikTok user Lucas (@lucasslonewolf0) elaborates on his predicament.
“You know what sucks about dating? I’m attracted to girly girls, and girly girls are the ones that don’t know how to have fun,” he starts.
“They don’t do spontaneous stuff,” he continues. “Like, I wanna go on a hike, I wanna go rock climbing, I wanna go to the beach and go swim in the water. Like, they don’t even do that!”
In the caption, he adds, “Someone match my freak please.”
While some commenters were on his side, others left the video scratching their heads. Are “girly girls” really not spontaneous?
Women, Hiking, Swimming, and Spontaneity
Even though Lucas’ claim is near-impossible to test, given that “girly girl” doesn’t have a solid definition, data shows that he, at the very least, shouldn’t be so confident about his claim.
To start, it should be noted that self-identified men and women participate in outdoor recreation at comparable rates, with around 5 to 10% more men than women engaging in outdoor recreation.
Still, as of 2024, more than half of all American women report doing some outdoor recreational activity. There are doubtless some “girly girls” amongst this group.
In fact, every sport mentioned by Lucas has significant female participation rates. A 2019 survey of Appalachian Trail hikers found that about 40% identified as women. Women have also been increasingly participating in rock climbing and bouldering events; at the 2014 American Bouldering Series Open National Championships, almost half of the participants were women.
As far as going to the beach is concerned, enjoying time in the sand is statistically gender neutral. A Bureau of Labor Statistics report from 2008 found that swimming, surfing, and water skiing all had approximately equal rates of male and female participation.
Why Does The Stereotype Exist?
So, if men and women both enjoy outdoor activities, why do some—like Lucas, it seems—believe that certain kinds of women don’t actually like them?
One reason for this may be exposure. Studies have found that parents are more likely to take young boys outdoors than they are young girls. Not only that, but one study found that young boys are allowed to “play outdoors more frequently, under less supervision, stay out later, and [have] a larger spatial range away from the family home” than young girls.
No one can definitively say why this is the case. However, academics theorize that perceived societal norms and assumptions made about young girls versus young boys could play a role.
Another reason may be the place of gender in discussions about outdoor activities. Writing for HuffPost, Adrianne Wadewitz, Ph.D., notes that women’s outdoor products are often advertised with more playful, less serious language than their male counterparts. This could have the effect of making women feel their outdoor interests are not taken as seriously as men’s.
No matter why this stereotype exists, there are plenty of women who do not fit into it. This means that Lucas just needs to look a little harder to find a “girly girl” who enjoys being outdoors. That, or he can simply widen his perspective a bit.
Commenters Are Divided
In the comments section, users had a host of different responses to Lucas’ statement.
“I’m a girly girl who is spontaneous but WHAT DO YOU MEAN ROCK CLIMBING,” wrote a user.
“I’m a girly girl and love doing those things i just need an advance notice. It takes time to be a girly girl. When you put work to make sure you look a certain way that takes time and it can be expensive so you don’t want to ruin it by jumping into the ocean without notice,” offered another. “I like to do those things i just need to know in advance so i can be prepared!”
“Maybe ur looking for a friend??” shared a third.
“When I think of being spontaneous I thought joining a ceramic class or going to a concert by myself.. not survival skills,” declared a further TikToker.
@lucasslonewolf0 someone match my freak please #fyp #explore ♬ original sound – lu
The Mary Sue reached out to Lucas via email and Instagram direct message.
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