A Stanford Law student has been told that he will be allowed to graduate after all, after a hold was placed on his diploma last month pending an investigation. His alleged crime? Dunking too hard on the Federalist Society.
On January 25, Nicholas Wallace emailed a fake flyer to a student listserv group for debate and political commentary. The flyer promoted a fictional Federalist Society event called “The Originalist Case for Inciting Insurrection” and featured the infamous image of Josh Hawley raising his fist in a show of solidarity with the soon-to-be Capitol insurrectionists on January 6.
If you’re not familiar with the Federalist Society, they are the absolute worst. The group started out in the 1980s as a conservative (and libertarian) academic organization that advocated for an originalist reading of the Constitution. But in recent decades they transformed into a pipeline to place ultra-conservative judges in lifetime positions in federal courts.
Oftentimes those (mostly white, mostly male) judges are severely underqualified for the positions to which they’re appointed but the group doesn’t care. Their focus is on the ends justifying the means, and the only “ends” that matter are stacking courts with regressive judges. The Federalist Society is the group that gave us our current Supreme Court, with six of the nine justices being current or former members.
Back to Wallace and his truly hilarious flyer, its purpose was to call out the organization, which has chapters at more than 200 U.S. law schools, for refusing to criticize or even comment on their members and alumni who helped incite the Capitol riot.
The flyer lists Missouri Senator Josh Hawley and Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton as the event’s speakers—two politicians who worked to overturn the legitimate results of the 2020 election.
“Violent insurrection, also known as doing a coup, is a classical system of installing a government,” Wallace’s description of the “event” reads. “Although widely believed to conflict in every way with the rule of law, violent insurrection can be an effective approach to upholding the principle of limited government. Senator Hawley will argue that the ends justify the means.”
The flyer continues: “Attorney General Paxton will explain that when the Supreme Court refuses to exercise its Article III authority to overturn the results of a free and fair election, calling on a violent mob to storm the Capitol represents an appropriate alternative remedy.”
That’s some A+ satire. Unsurprisingly, the Federalist Society didn’t agree. Those free speech warriors, the proud anti-snowflake brigade, filed an official complaint claiming Wallace damaged the reputation not just of the group, but the “individual reputations” of the Stanford chapter’s officers.
A Stanford Law student sent out this objectively hilarious FedSoc parody (“The Originalist Case for Insurrection feat. Josh Hawley”) and the FedSoc chapter filed just about the dumbest, whiniest complaint imaginable, and now the guy’s degree is on hold pending an investigation 🙃 pic.twitter.com/iiokPL4EgP
— Jay Willis (@jaywillis) June 2, 2021
On May 22, the chapter reportedly put pressure on the school to launch a formal investigation into Wallace’s flyer. According to Slate, Wallace wasn’t made aware of that investigation until May 27, his final day of classes.
Stanford then placed a hold on his degree, prohibiting him from receiving his actual diploma at graduation on June 12. It has continued to investigate him for “a possible violation of the Fundamental Standard,” the school’s code of conduct, subjecting him to the same procedures that suspected plagiarists must undergo. The hold on his diploma has jeopardized Wallace’s plans to take the Michigan bar exam this summer; the state bar requires applicants to send their diplomas immediately upon graduation, which he will not be able to do.
Stanford has now announced that Wallace will be able to graduate, but it’s ridiculous (and also a terrifying indication of the group’s immense sway) that that was ever even a question.
You’d think a law school would have been able to more quickly consult the law on this one
— Olivia Messer 🌊 (@OliviaMesser) June 3, 2021
The best thing to come out of this whole ordeal (aside from Wallace being able to graduate and the Federalist Society getting their feelings hurt) is that it has inspired others to share their very best dunks on the organization.
The main issue the Stanford chapter seemed to take with Wallace’s flyer is that it was too good of an “impersonation.” People thought it was real because he took the format of their usual event flyers and applied his own satirical text to it. And that really upset the Federalist Society because apparently they’ve never heard of the structure of memes before.
So people are sharing their own FS memes:
— sarah jeong (@sarahjeong) June 3, 2021
I am told that these emails (from other, outraged students) are now going out to the Stanford Law student body listserv pic.twitter.com/M96T34zxOS
— sarah jeong (@sarahjeong) June 2, 2021
Others are sharing their FedSoc horror stories:
So my horrible law school FedSoc story is… that me a couple of guys had this barbershop quartet thing going and we donated, ourselves, at a Dutch auction for some “good cause” or another that I can’t remember.
FedSoc *bought* me and made me sing at their annual dinner.
:(— Elie Mystal (@ElieNYC) June 2, 2021
My favorite FedSoc horror story that will stay with me till I die is when SLS Fed Soc advertised Mexican food catering for a lunch presentation on “Building the Wall: An Immigration System in Crisis”
— Jacquie (@JacquieTeo1) June 2, 2021
I’ve told this story before but an adjunct at my law school speaking at a fedsoc debate on ACA death panels in *2017* told me that I should die from my pre existing heart condition if I was too poor to afford health insurance. Hilariously terrible
— beeg (@bgreener1) June 3, 2021
It’s always a good day to exercise your First Amendment right to dunk on the Federalist Society.
(image: Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)
Want more stories like this? Become a subscriber and support the site!
—The Mary Sue has a strict comment policy that forbids, but is not limited to, personal insults toward anyone, hate speech, and trolling.—
