‘I need a lobotomy after that’: Arizona woman goes on first date with man. Then he makes her pay for every other drink—even if it wasn’t hers
A woman went on a first date with a man, only to pay for every other drink, including his, that they ordered. Frustrated, she let him know that she “never” had to pay for drinks on a date.
His response? “When I told him this, he [replied verbatim], you’re not my [expletive]. Why would I pay for you?” said Serena Hinojosasa (@serena_hinojosa) in a video that has gotten 187,000 views.
Hinojosasa’s bad dating experience
Hinojosasa met an Arizona man who surprised her. That’s because she’s used to all of the men who go out with her paying for her meal and drinks.
At first, it seemed that the man was going to offer to pay for all of the drinks at the table. Then, in the second round, he had her pay for her drink and his.
“On the date he made me pay for every other drink that we got that night. Not just my drink, his included,” Hinojosasa added. Later, she expressed to him that while she’s fine paying, he shouldn’t expect a second date.
“ I feel like the man always takes care of it, and that’s kind of just what I expect,” Hinojosasa said. “To me, it’s just the chivalrous thing to do. I think if you are a man, you will take care of the woman on the first date.”
Then, the man told her that when she is his “[expletive]” he will be more than happy to pay for her meals. He followed up the crude remark by telling her, “Sounds like you need to get your money up.”
Her video’s description simply read, “FOUL,” summarizing her feelings regarding the date in one big word.
“Yess only in [Arizona] are we finding these type[s] of men!”
Commenters weigh in—is it fair to always get paid for?
While many commenters thought the man’s comment calling her an “[expletive]” was uncalled for, others agreed with the man’s logic.
“So, he got free drinks and dodged a bullet,” said one commenter.
One man complained, “I paid for everything on the first date just to [not get] a 2nd date and GET FRIEND ZONED. [I’m] never paying for EVERYTHING on the first date again.
Dating culture—a general issue?
As commenters echoed, in dating culture, it is not actually a given that a woman “gets paid for” on the first date. In recent times, it has become more of a kind courtesy and gentlemanly action.
Since the 1920s, men have been expected to pay for meals while going out. This is partially because many women were not granted the social ability to seek high-paying jobs. Those would offset the cost of a night out, and due to preexisting social norms embedded in patriarchal culture.
Times have changed, though, with many more women willingly splitting the check on the first date to avoid creating expectations with their dinner. A new, recent trend many women have noticed is that men will expect a woman to “put out” if they pay for her meal. That is also wrong, considering paying for a meal is a courtesy, not an expectation. If a man offers to pay for a meal, it can be a sign of interest and goodwill, but that does not necessarily mean a woman has to do anything for him. It is only an offer or courtesy that guarantees little.
@serena_hinojosa FOUL #dating #az #phoenix #firstdate #fyp ♬ Chopin Nocturne Op 9 No 2 – ChrisTune
Splitting the check?
While it is common to see men pay for meals, it is also common to see new couples split their checks, especially on the first date, considering all of the social nuances and expectations that come with one person taking the bill.
As one commenter stated, “I feel like if it’s a first date it should always be half and half because what if one person doesn’t like the other person etc… If you guys get together for the long run eventually you have to split things.”
Another commenter added, “Take a girl out, pay for the whole date, spend a couple hundred just for it not to work out. I can only afford like one date every other month. It’s hard for us out here.”
So, many men said that they are happy to pay for the bill. They just want to wait until the fourth, fifth or sixth date to do so.
The Mary Sue has reached out to Hinojasasa for comment.
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