Woman sees 56-year-old man’s Bumble profile. Then she takes a closer look at his bio, and realizes he’s married: ‘Dating with her family’s blessing’

A woman turns to Bumble to browse the available dates in her area and is unpleasantly surprised to find a married man whose wife is in hospice with Alzheimer’s disease. 

TikTok creator Marie (@wooaahtherebuddy) posted a screenshot of the offensive dating profile. “Men aren’t [expletive],” Marie wrote in the on-screen text.

Needless to say, her followers also expressed their intense disapproval of the man and his decision to be on the dating site while his wife suffered from a terminal illness.

Why Is This Married Man with a Wife in Hospice on Bumble?

In the comments section of the video, judgment rained down on the man and his decision to be dating at this specific time in his family’s life.

“If she’s in hospice, that means she likely has six months or less to live,” one person noted. “You mean to tell me he couldn’t wait at least six MONTHS to move on from his wife? Like that is actual sociopathic behavior.”

“‘Ask me anything,’” a second person wrote. “OK, sir, where do you get the audacity?”

“I’m sorry, but you have blessings from the family???? What kinda family is that?” a third person wrote.

However, a few people did step in to defend the man. “A lot of men would just cheat,” one person wrote. “This guy is literally telling you his situation and being honest about it. Let’s not judge too harshly.”

One person responded, “The bar is literally at the core of the earth.”

Is It OK to Date When Your Spouse Is In Hospice with Alzheimer’s?

Back in 2018, a woman wrote to advice columnist “Dear Abby” about the ethics of dating while a spouse is seriously ill or dying. This article is a series of responses to that question, many of which were written by people who have faced a similar question, and the content of those responses is quite nuanced.

One man said his wife was diagnosed with Parkinson’s nearly a decade prior and she had recently moved into a senior living facility. While the man said he did seek companionship in the community, he remains committed to his marriage. “If the show were on the other foot, I know she’d do the same for me,” Jim in Nevada wrote. “After all, that is what our marriage is about, ‘in sickness and in health, ‘till death do us part.’”

There Are Three Main Paths in This Situation

Others offered a different perspective. “Seeking companionship is normal,” wrote one sympathetic reader. “So is wanting to be touched and cared for. If she is respectful and discreet, taking care of herself will benefit her ability to care for him. Everyone wins.”

According to Psychology Today, caregivers in this position generally have three options. They can leave their spouse altogether, they can resign themselves to an extended period of time without physical or emotional connection, or they can maintain relationships outside of the relationship. 

The Mary Sue contacted Marie via TikTok comment and direct message for comment. 

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