Bay Area Woman Was Ready to Buy the $4,500 Balenciaga Rodeo Bag. It Takes Her Weeks to Admit the Truth: ‘So My Subconscious Mind Threw Me’
Success isn’t one-size-fits-all.
The Bay Area woman who nearly dropped $4,500 on a pine green Balenciaga Rodeo bag just revealed the real reason she walked away. In a nearly 10-minute TikTok video, Crystal of @slowbuyclub unpacked how her obsession with the bag was actually a distraction from envy, old friendships, and deep-seated insecurities. At the time, Crystal was nowhere near ready to admit these bitter truths to herself. “So my subconscious mind threw me into the Balenciaga Rodeo,” she said.
The video, which has racked up over 244,000 views and hundreds of reposts, is a raw, therapeutic deep-dive into why we buy what we buy and how those purchases often mask emotional gaps we’d rather not face. Crystal’s story starts with the bag itself. The Balenciaga Rodeo is a status symbol wrapped in buttery leather and chic, half-open slouch. She describes it as objectively beautiful, with hardware that feels premium and a design that screams effortless cool.
But the real appeal, she says, isn’t the bag’s craftsmanship but what it represents. The half-open design, a trend in luxury bags right now, works like a psychological crutch. In a world where women feel more insecure than ever – financially, emotionally, socially – a bag that stays casually open sends a message: I don’t care. I’m not afraid. Nothing can touch me. For Crystal, that message was a lifeline.
Here’s where things get interesting
Crystal is a former shopaholic and marketer who spent two decades chasing the high of a new purchase. To break the cycle, she developed the “Slow Buy” method, a framework that forces her to question the “who, what, and why” behind every desire. When she applied it to the Balenciaga Rodeo, the bag’s allure started to unravel.
The “what” was easy – the bag was gorgeous, functional, and undeniably trendy. The “why” was trickier. On the surface, it represented financial security, a way to signal to the world (and herself) that she had made it. But the “who” was the real kicker. The bag, it turned out, wasn’t about Balenciaga at all. It was about Fifi.
Crystal describes Fifi as a former friend from her own days in Hong Kong, where she worked in marketing after graduating from a prestigious university. She says Hong Kong in the early 2010s was a city obsessed with wealth, status, and the trappings of success.
Crystal’s friends, mostly finance bros and girls with trust funds, carried luxury bags like badges of honor. There was Momo, the rocker girl with her YSL, and Lara, the artist with her Prada. Then there was Fifi, the self-made millionaire who carried Hermès like it was no big deal. Crystal, meanwhile, could barely afford Marc Jacobs.
Crystal and Fifi had a complicated relationship
Bonded by toxic boyfriends and shared insecurities, Crystal says her dynamic with Fifi was built on a foundation of passive-aggressive jabs and unspoken envy. She envied Fifi’s financial security, her ability to buy homes for her kids and her effortless wealth. Fifi, in turn, envied Crystal’s creativity and freewheeling spirit. Their friendship was a push-and-pull of comparison, a cycle neither could break.
When Fifi resurfaced years later, dropping a casual message about her new house in an ultra-exclusive Bay Area neighborhood, Crystal’s stomach sank. Instead of confronting her feelings, she fixated on the Balenciaga Rodeo. The Rodeo, she later found, was a stand-in for the popular Hermès Kelly – a “broken and beat-up creative version” of the bag Fifi carried.
It was her subconscious mind’s way of saying, I can have this too. I can be like her. But when she traced the desire back to its source, the bag lost its power. The final nail in the coffin came during a conversation with her mom, who reminded her that success isn’t one-size-fits-all. “You don’t have to buy your kids a house when they’re grown up,” her mom said. “You can be a great mom in a different way. Everybody has their own way.”
Crystal’s video is a cultural moment
In an era of inflation and social media-fueled comparison, audiences are craving content that validates slowing down. The “anti-haul” movement, which encourages people to reject fast fashion and mindless consumption, is gaining traction. Crystal’s approach – turning a luxury bag obsession into a lesson on human connection – offers a refreshing counter-narrative to the influencer marketing machine.
Her video has resonated with thousands, many of whom have shared their own stories of using retail therapy as a bandage for emotional wounds. What makes Crystal’s story so compelling is its honesty. She admits to envying Fifi, to the toxicity of their friendship, and to the way material possessions can feel like a shortcut to self-worth.
But she also presents how unpacking those feelings can lead to something better. The Balenciaga Rodeo wasn’t just a bag. It was a mirror, reflecting back the insecurities and relationships she’d been avoiding. And once she faced them, the desire faded.
The response to her video proves that people are hungry for this kind of content. In a world that glorifies consumption, Crystal’s message is simple: You don’t need to buy your way to happiness. Sometimes, the most luxurious thing you can do is walk away.
(Featured image: APK)
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