Miami Woman Went on a First Date. It Ended With Her Barking at the Man: ‘I’m Not Going Nowhere Near Your Crypt’

Nobody ever knows what to expect on a first date. While some conclude the night like it’s a romcom, others end with another horror story to tell. But Niani (@shondarhimesstanaccount) on TikTok had an even more bizarre ending to her night.

She just came from the date, and the first thing she thought of doing was hitting record for TikTok. “First of all, he’s a whisperer,” Niani said. She clearly didn’t like that the man was difficult to understand throughout the night. But it would be rather strange for a grown man to sound incoherent throughout a date. A positive first impression definitely did not land for Niani.

Nevertheless, Niani went on the date anyway, ate dinner, and was ready to go home. That was the plan, but then, the man asked, “Do you want to go back to my house for hookah, or do you want to go home?”

This was not part of the plan. There’s usually no problem with staying over even after a first date. But it was late, and Niani clearly wasn’t so impressed by the date to begin with.

Date couldn’t take “no” for an answer

Niani said, “To me, that sounds like, ‘Do you want to go to my evil lair or go back to the place you love more than any place in the world?'” To add, Niani also had a drink for the night. She definitely wasn’t stoked to go with the man, so she refused him. Niani said she wanted to go home.

But the date seemed frustrated by her response, even though they were sticking to the initial plan. It was supposed to be brunch, then Niani would go home to her house.

“You should’ve included that in your text message, and I would’ve told your big-belly ass that I’m not going nowhere near your crypt,” she said. Niani was clearly exasperated. She was also thoroughly uncomfortable with the man’s insistence that she come home with him. Despite the conflict, her date drove Niani to her apartment complex.

Wouldn’t that have been unsafe? According to Niani, her apartment complex had two buildings. If it were a single detached house or a duplex, it would have been a different story. But basically, her strange date wouldn’t have been able to tell where Niani truly lives.

But just as she was about to get out of the car, the man asked her, “Are you sure you want to go home?” She refused him multiple times during the ride. Again, she said no and tried to leave.

A horror story with a plot twist

Then, he came over to her side and tried holding Niani’s waist. He seemed insistent on spending the night with her.

“Are you sure you want to go home? I could make this night really worth it for you,” she recalled him say. This scenario would put anyone in an uncomfortable situation, especially if they’d already established that they didn’t want to get physical for the night. Niani was confused, but she was only sure that she had to make a scene.

So, she decided to do the unthinkable. “I started barking like a dog,” she said. It was her alternative to fighting the man. He was so taken aback. The man had to pause and look at her. She looked back at him unfazed.

Because of this, Niani was able to make it home. Then, she received a text message from her date. It reads, “If you didn’t want to come to my house, you could’ve just said that.” But she did—she refused him multiple times.

TikTok has no shortage of dates gone wrong, and it seems that Niani’s is just one of them. At least the food was good.

(featured image: Brayan Guzman Cortez, shondarhimesstanaccount, Rafael Quaty)

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