Woman plans date with man. Then she reveals how she’s learning ASL—which he ends up weaponizing mid-date: ‘I audibly gasped’
A woman says a man asked her out as she left a bar and the pair exchanged numbers. When they finally meet up for a first date, she says he weaponized her new ASL skills after she humbled him.
TikToker Katharine (@katharinemelody) says the man initially asked her to hang out the next night. She tells him that she can’t because she takes an American Sign Language (ASL) class.
He makes a strange request, suggesting that the pair eat takeout at her apartment.
“Kinda weird to plan a first date at MY apartment,” she says. Katharine tells the man that she is looking to date seriously and doesn’t want anything casual. He agrees and asks her to get dinner with him later that same week.
However, the man’s remarks about women’s hobbies shock her.
What did the man say on the first date?
Katharine says the man instantly started generalizing women’s hobbies, boiling them down to “reality TV and true crime podcasts.”
“I don’t do either of those things but I start defending them because why are you a hater?” she says. “Then he starts talking about how stupid romance smut books are. I read a lot of those.”
She asks him what he reads and he explains that he’s reading about the architectural planning of New York City. He’s shocked when she knows the historical figures involved in the city’s development. Then, he interrupts her.
“He goes, ‘How’s your sign language class going?’ she recounts. The TikToker explains that she recently passed the first level.
“He goes, ‘It’s really good that you’re trying to find ways to talk less,'” she says, staring at the camera blankly.
The caption reads, “And the thing is, the joke could have been funny if it was a joke.” The video reached over 222,000 views as of March 31.
What do women think about insulting jokes?
Ultimately, the TikToker doesn’t share whether the man tried to brush off the comment as a joke or whether he was serious about the insult.
While some men may throw in a friendly jab or two to add to the banter of a first date, some women don’t enjoy the low blows. In a post on the r/dating subreddit, members discuss whether seemingly playful insults have a place on dates.
“I couldn’t date someone like that either. A little lighthearted teasing here and there is fine, but when it’s constant it’s too much,” a commenter writes.
“This is dangerous territory. My ex got away with a lot of comments that he masked as ‘jokes.’ If you’re uncomfortable with it, then get out. It’s not going to change,” a second offers.
Even some men chime in on the post, sharing what they think about the sometimes uncomfortable style of humor.
“Teasing is popular. And then negging is a common strategy. It’s a psychological manipulation technique where the guy teases and gives out back handed compliments so that the girl subconsciously feels like she has to prove something,” one suggests. “I don’t do this because it comes off predatory and pathetic.”
@katharinemelody And the thing is, the joke could have been funny if it was a joke
♬ original sound – Katharine
How did other women react to her date?
In the comments of the viral video, viewers can’t believe the man’s audacity. Some point out flaws in the logic of his insulting joke.
“Mind you sign language is a LANGUAGE. You’re actually expanding your ability to talk more to more people,” one writes.
A second viewer adds, “No, you’re just trying to find ways to talk even when you have to be quiet also, I just love the fact that you’re gonna have some classes.”
“The bar is in hell YET MY JAW STILL DROPPED,” a third remarks.
Others offer comebacks the TikToker could have used in reply.
“Hopefully you said: ‘Well, this is the last thing I’ll ever say to you.’ And walk out,” a viewer says.
Another suggests, “I would have gotten up and used the universal middle finger sign language and walked out.”
The Mary Sue reached out to Katharine via email and TikTok direct message. We will update the story when she replies.
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