Missouri server refused to serve a table during her 13-hour shift because of the way they called her over: ‘People are confusing server with servant’
Every other day, workdays feel like a test of sanity for servers. And after 11 hours on your feet, your tolerance for disrespect drops to zero. But TikTok creator and server Chelsey Starr (@chelsey_starr) showed exactly how you should handle an entitled table when you’re running out of patience. Especially if they snap their fingers at you.
Chelsey’s video has struck a chord with over 5.5 million viewers. She reminded every diner that even if you’re paying for the service, you still have to have basic human decency. She captioned the video, “On today’s episode of things I say and don’t get fired.” But nobody should get fired for standing up for themselves anyway.
The ‘hour 11’ confrontation was the final straw for the server
Chelsey was well into a grueling 13-hour shift when a customer at one of her tables decided to get her attention. Not by calling her name, or saying anything. They decided to call her over by repeatedly snapping their fingers at her instead.
But instead of yielding to the gesture, Chelsey marched to the table to set a firm boundary. “First thing’s first, my name is Chelsey,” she told the group. “Second thing, if you snap at me, I will not be serving this table,” she said with a passive aggressive smile.
After delivering the ultimatum, she calmly asked, “What can I get for you?” Understandably, the table was taken aback by her backbone. But hey, we all should know better than to press the buttons of someone dealing with Karens and Steves for 11 hours straight.
So, the customer simply sat stunned. They had a look that Chelsey says was only matched by their reaction to the bill later that night.
The $105 Gratuity was an instant karma for the table
The table’s karma for disrespecting Chelsey didn’t end with a verbal correction. When the check finally arrived, the party discovered that the restaurant’s policy included an automatic gratuity for large groups. In this case, totaling $105.
To make matters even more frustrating for the difficult table, the establishment did not offer separate checks. So, the group was forced to deal with the logistics of a single large bill after having been called out for their behavior. Icing on the cake? 100%.
Why is snapping your fingers at a server disrespectful?
There is a universal consensus in the service industry: snapping your fingers at a human being is a total breakdown of respect. As many users commenting in Chelsey’s video noted. The gesture is often associated with calling a dog or summoning a “servant” rather than interacting with a professional performing a job.
It is an indication of an outdated power dynamic that reduces a server to someone “below” you. Even beyond snapping, there are several other summons that will likely land you on a server’s “ignore” list. For example, whistling is also a gesture typically reserved for pets.
There’s also a crowd favorite on the list: Hitting a glass on the table or bar. If you do not want to be seen as a nuisance, avoid the urge to do this. Such actions creates a loud, demanding noise that interrupts the flow of the entire room. Other than that, waving napkins or glasses in the air is also viewed as impatient and condescending.
A user and server also added “Shouting ‘Yo’ or ‘Bro’” to the list. Such informal shouts are dismissive and disrespectful of the server’s actual name and role. So, strike that off your habit.
The respectful way to get your server’s attention
If you need something during your meal, the most effective ways are the simplest ones. Most servers are trained to scan their tables for visual cues. So, making brief eye contact or giving a small, polite wave is usually all it takes to signal them to come over. Whether you’re ready for the check or another round of drinks, they’ll probably catch up to you.
In case your server is busy, wait for them to pass by and use a polite “Excuse me” followed by their name if they have introduced themselves. As Chelsey’s video proves, treating your server like an adult with a name will get you much better service than acting like you’re at a talent show for the world’s most annoying diner.
Humanity is not included in the bill, but it’s expected
Chelsey’s video’s comment section turned into a massive support group for hospitality workers. Almost every server has reached their limit with “main character energy” at dinner. As one user remarked, “I think a lot of people are confusing server with servant.” And that’s the root of the problem.
“My managers will kick people out if they snap at us,” another added, proving that some establishments are finally backing their staff against the disrespectful behavior. And wherever the manager’s don’t intervene, servers have learned to stand up for themselves. “I refuse to serve or even acknowledge them until they ask with their words like adults,” a McDonald’s worker shared.
With a small video, Chelsey sent a strong message that service workers aren’t supposed to swallow their pride for the sake of a tip. Thankfully, her 13-hour shift ended with a customer who learned her name and some manners. We say it’s a win for workers everywhere. And the next time you’re at a restaurant, keep your fingers for eating and your words for ordering.
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