I saw Cats on Tuesday morning, and my life was changed. I can’t say whether or not it’s for better or worse, because I honestly have no idea what the hell I watched. And I’m glad I’m not alone. Critics and those who got into early screenings for the Christmas film hit Twitter last night with their reactions, and … basically confused everyone, but if you saw Cats, you understand.
An oddly sexual film (don’t even get me started), Cats was exactly what I thought it would be and nothing like I thought it would be at the same time. But my new favorite thing to do is read tweets about the movie and watch as everyone tries to understand what we all experienced.
So, buckle up, get ready, and enjoy the baffling world of critics and fans trying to understand what in the hell Cats is.
Me watching #CATSmovie: WHY human faces and human hands? Why so small? What is Judi Dench’s fur coat made of? How do they poop? How did I get here? Why so boring? Who is responsible for this? What hath cat-manity wrought pic.twitter.com/z4b0ysQ800
— jen yamato (@jenyamato) December 19, 2019
True story: I got home after seeing CATS and couldn’t look my own cat in the face for a good hour or two
— jen yamato (@jenyamato) December 19, 2019
Glad to report that Cats is everything you’d hoped for and more: a mesmerisingly ugly fiasco that makes you feel like your brain is being eaten by a parasite. A viewing experience so stressful that it honestly brought on a migraine.
— Robbie Collin (@robbiereviews) December 19, 2019
Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not Jellicles can and Jellicles do, they didn’t stop to think if Jellicles should.
— Guy Lodge (@GuyLodge) December 19, 2019
I love bizzaro, crazy, break into song & dance stuff & #CATSMovie was easily the most boring thing I’ve ever seen. Dancing was good & Jennifer Hudson’s “Memory” was stunning but I coulda easily napped & been fine. I spent a lot of time wondering what drugs Hooper was on.
— Yolanda Machado (@SassyMamainLA) December 19, 2019
Me watching CATS: https://t.co/SF4ZyNMYdd pic.twitter.com/NzqdmenwQD
— Matt Goldberg (@MattGoldberg) December 19, 2019
How wild is CATS? At one point, the colleague I sat next to literally leaned back in their seat and moaned “Stooooop! Stoooooop!”
CATS had broken their mind, now and forever.
— Matt Singer (@mattsinger) December 19, 2019
Here is the thing about Cats: the critics are not wrong. But people will go to see and enjoy it and they would not be wrong either. It feels exhilarating to say this, but I agree with much of the criticism and I liked it anyway! Wheeee! What a hill to die on!!
— Katie Collins (@katiecollins) December 19, 2019
The “Cats” reviews are already incredible. pic.twitter.com/xeO48n873J
— Griswold Christmas Vacation (@HashtagGriswold) December 19, 2019
It’s weird to say that CATS is getting “worse” reviews than STAR WARS, when most of the CATS reviews are like “this is from hell but you have to respect the weird gall of it” and the STAR WARS reviews are like “this is sloppy fan service that ruins an otherwise good thing”
— Esther Zuckerman (@ezwrites) December 19, 2019
Cats is coming to theaters soon, and I can’t even tell you whether or not to watch it. That’s the Jellicle choice you have to make.
(image: Universal)
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