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Ladies, Let’s Talk About What a Sexy Woman That Stephen Colbert Is
by Jamie Frevele | 10:29 am, May 23rd, 2012
After winning a massive write-in campaign, Stephen Colbert has found himself on Maxim‘s “Definitive List of the World’s Most Beautiful Women,” the Hot 100. You might be asking yourself why Colbert, who is part of the male species, and, therefore, not a woman, is being listed on such a list. Well, you have to ask yourself something else: When you look at Stephen Colbert, is his gender all you see? Is your mind that closed?
For the first time, Maxim gave voting rights to the public, letting the masses choose this year’s 100 hottest women. (I guess anyone who makes the list in previous years and then is left off is no longer hot. That’s upsetting.) But what was also part of the voting was the opportunity to include a write-in candidate. And that’s what put Stephen Colbert on the Hot 100 list, at number 69.
And we should be happy for him. Not because now a man can also be honored as women are for their looks alone — because this is a sign of how far we’ve come. This is equality, America. Why should we limit a list of hot women to only those of the female gender? That’s sexist. If people think Stephen Colbert is sexy, then he should be on the country’s “definitive” list of people who are sexy! Why limit the list to women? Are we trying to send a message that men cannot be sexy? That we can’t gaze upon men as if they were pampered, scrutinized dogs at the Westminster Dog Show and pick them apart until they’re barely an organic life form anymore and just a thrown-together collection of body parts that we have decided is somehow still pleasing to our eyes?
As we know, Colbert does not see gender. Nor race. We are all just human beings, making our way in this crazy, crazy world. Maybe you look at him and see a man. Maybe you look at him and see a woman. But I’ll tell you something: I see a person, America. A sexy person. And if Stephen Colbert makes a list of the sexiest women in the world, then I accept it. And I am proud of the inclusiveness.
And I am so glad he beat out Amanda Knox.
Ed. note: I hope no one took this post seriously, because, come on now.
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