Ahhh, stock photography. Slightly more attractive people doing regular people things! But do you ever see a stock photo that makes you wonder, “Do people really do this?” Well, this collection of women with laptops might make you think that, in addition to “Isn’t that uncomfortable?” While it’s true that computers are used for leisure as well as work (as these lovely ladies demonstrate), these “leisurely” poses might actually cause serious back pain if maintained for more than six minutes. We strongly urge you not to try any of these at home, maybe consider a standing desk, or just don’t use your laptop on the freaking floor, restricting your human arms to the limited mobility of a Tyrannosaurus rex.
And beware: beyond this jump is a land suffering from severe t-shirt shortages… except for scoop necks.
First, the aforementioned T. rex collection, which includes tablets for good measure. We admit ourselves to frequently attempting this position, but the moment we realize our elbows ache is the moment right after we find themselves face-down on the keyboard with the apostrophe key lodged in our mouths.
Um, sweetie, I don’t think you’re using that correctly.
Next, what I like to call the “side crow” position, inspired by the yoga position parsva bakasana:
Um, your computer is off. You know that, right?
Ooo, one-handed even. Very fancy.
Next up, the “sitting on the floor cross-legged while bending down in order to see the monitor and reach the keys which are too far away to sit like that” collection. The truly confounding part of a few of these: they are sitting on the floor in front of perfectly comfortable furniture.
“Heeeeeyyyyyyyyy, if I put it on my knees, I will see better and also stop feeling my pesky knees when they go numb!” By jove, she’s got it!
These woman are in a position that I like to call “back-neck-butthurt.” We all know this one, and we know it lasts about twenty minutes before you get up and sit on some real furniture.
This woman is avoiding butthurt by sitting on a couch, but her neck will soon feel the strain. But she was nice enough to get really dressed up to … watch YouTube videos.
Bonus! A hybrid of “side crow,” “floor seat,” and “back-neck-butthurt”!
This poor girl is stranded on a desert island! With a computer, though, so she’ll be rescued. And as soon as she boards her rescue vessel, she’ll be demanding mass quantities of Advil. And sunglasses.
Sweet heavens, this woman is pregnant. Someone get her a backrest and call a masseuse, like, an hour ago … Someone also catch her computer when it slides off her lap because that’s about to happen in 3 … 2 … 1 …
This doesn’t even make sense. Screen glare! Screen glare!
And remember: in case you were born without a spinal cord, hire some friends to hold your upper body up while using a laptop in the Great Plains.