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Happy International Talk Like a Pirate Day from The Mary Sue

For great justice

Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day, everyone! If there’s one thing I love, it’s… well, not pirates. Doughnuts. But if the opportunity presents itself to dress up as a pirate and get free doughnuts, I am there. Which is why I say on this, the tenth annual Talk Like a Pirate Day: Thank you, Krispy Kreme, for giving me that opportunity.

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Today and today only, select locations of the best doughnut chain in the country (sit down Dunkin’ Donuts, you don’t even spell “doughnuts” correctly) will give you a dozen doughnuts for free if you come in dressed as a pirate and a single free doughnut if you talk like one. So, of course, 7:30 this morning saw me donning my costume to visit the Big Apple’s only KK. After getting a few YARRRGHs from passersby, giving a few myself, and being interviewed by a journalism student camped out at the Kreme for a story on the world’s only pirate-themed holiday (I assume it is, anyway—if there’s another, I would be very interested to know about it as I want to get as much use out of my pirate hat as I possibly can), I walked back to the subway with my head held high, hat swaying softly in the wind (dramatic license is OK on Talk Like a Pirate Day, savvy?), and a box with a dozen glazed in my greedy little hands. My pirate boots might be a little bit uncomfortable, but it’s worth it, dammit.

And because no Talk Like a Pirate Day is complete without an appearance from the greatest pirate actor of our era, Tim Curry, (sorry, Johnny Depp) here’s Professional Pirate from Muppet Treasure Island. So let fly a mighty AVAST YE, MATEY, watch the video (singing along, of course), and then let us know how you celebrated the world’s most Internet era-ish holiday.

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