Prehistoric Penguins Were Giant, Still Couldn’t Fly

Aaaaaas Yooooou Wiiiiiiiiiiiish

Recommended Videos

Paleontologists working in Antarctica have discovered the remains of a giant prehistoric penguin. How giant is giant, you ask?

6.5 feet tall.

That’s right. A six and a half foot tall penguin. Quick, to the time machine!

Giant penguin fossils are nothing new, but they tend to measure in between 4’6″ and 4’2″. Says researcher Carolina Acosta of this most recent discovery, “This is the largest penguin known to date in terms of height and body mass.”

The paleontologists who discovered the fossil, which they date to about 34 million years ago, are planning another trip to Antarctica see if they can find more. It’d be great if they did, of course. But I also like to imagine that the penguin they found was the Fezzik of penguins, a lone giant who through no fault of his own towered over those puny 4’6″ers. It’s not his fault he’s the biggest and the strongest. He doesn’t even exercise!

And then he can meet an arctic hare, and they both get hired by a Black-browed Albatross named Vizzini. But then the trio runs into a mysterious snow leopard (don’t ask how he got to Antarctica—just go with it), and the penguin and the hare end up having adventures with him. I’m not sure who Buttercup would be in this scenario.

Yes, I have turned this impressive scientific discovery into a The Princess Bride crossover. I’m not sure whether to be impressed or horrified with myself.

(via: deathandtaxes)

Are you following The Mary Sue on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, Pinterest, & Google +?


The Mary Sue is supported by our audience. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn a small affiliate commission. Learn more
related content
Read Article Here’s Why the ‘L’ Comes First in LGBTQ?
Read Article What Will Conventions Look Like in 2021?
Read Article Dear White People, I Need To Matter Beyond a Thank You
Black Lives Matter protest photo
Read Article Have You Ever Seen a Ghost?
Library of Congress Ghost picture
Read Article Taylor Swift Says She’ll Re-Record All Her Old Albums to Regain Ownership of Them
taylor swift,, voting, tennessee, blackburn, conservatives, vote.org
Related Content
Read Article Here’s Why the ‘L’ Comes First in LGBTQ?
Read Article What Will Conventions Look Like in 2021?
Read Article Dear White People, I Need To Matter Beyond a Thank You
Black Lives Matter protest photo
Read Article Have You Ever Seen a Ghost?
Library of Congress Ghost picture
Read Article Taylor Swift Says She’ll Re-Record All Her Old Albums to Regain Ownership of Them
taylor swift,, voting, tennessee, blackburn, conservatives, vote.org