Weasel Takes Down World’s Largest Particle Accelerator, Probably Gets Superpowers

In what is very definitely a superhero origin story, a weasel was zapped by the Large Hadron Collider, the world’s most powerful particle accelerator, and caused it to shut down. Sure, the scientists at CERN say the weasel was killed by the electric jolt it got from gnawing through one of the particle accelerator’s power cables, but we all know the truth: Superweasel is out there.