comScore Yes We're Still Talking About Batman's Oral Activities

Yes We’re All Still Talking About DC’s Comments on Batman’s Oral Activities

His mouth is uncovered in that costume for a REASON!

 

Batman and Catwoman shocked

Yesterday, our very own Princess Weekes was stunned to find out that, according to DC, Batman would do anything for love … but he won’t do that. The that in this case is going down on his girlfriend.

This was the Internet’s biggest takeaway from a Variety piece on HBO Max’s Harley Quinn, in which co-creator Justin Halpern revealed, “[…] we had a moment where Batman was going down on Catwoman. And DC was like, ‘You can’t do that. You absolutely cannot do that.’ They’re like, ‘Heroes don’t do that.’ So, we said, ‘Are you saying heroes are just selfish lovers?’ They were like, ‘No, it’s that we sell consumer toys for heroes. It’s hard to sell a toy if Batman is also going down on someone.’”

I’m not exaggerating when I tell you that the Internet, as a whole, came together to weigh in on the outrageous statement that Bruce Wayne wouldn’t drop everything he’s doing for the chance to have his mouth anywhere near the vicinity of the one and only Selena Kyle. The commentary, memes, art, and now even merchandise are flowing fast and furiously ever since. Ironically, if DC was once worried about this activity in association with Batman, it’s now a viral sensation that many of us will never not associate with Batman.

Batman. Is. Always. Ready. Has been for a while.

Like.

DC.

Did you forget who Selena Kyle is?

Every iteration of this woman is a goddess that walks among us, why wouldn’t anyone want to fully enjoy her? Furthermore, what makes you think Catwoman would put up with a man who’s scared of a little kitty cat?

But it’s not just Selena who Batman’s missing out on because according to DC, heroes just don’t DO that. This leads me to believe that DC feels that their entire heroes galley shies away from oral sex, which would include the entire Justice League and some change.

Right.

What am I supposed to make of this then, huh DC?

via GIPHY

I refuse to live my life thinking that DC is perfectly fine with DJ Khaled-ing their characters.

You cannot let Batman go out like this, DC!

DC, don’t turn this into a moment where even SMASH MOUTH has to put you in your place! They did it to DJ Khaled when he “proudly” proclaimed that he won’t go down on his wife, don’t make them do it to Batman!

Let’s return once more to where this news came from. In an article via Variety by Joe Otterson, Justin Halpern and Patrick Schumacher (two of the co-creators of Harley Quinn) revealed that while they do get a lot of flexibility when working with their characters, they encountered some … restrictions.

“It’s incredibly gratifying and free to be using characters that are considered villains because you just have so much more leeway,” says Halpern. “A perfect example of that is in this third season of ‘Harley’ [when] we had a moment where Batman was going down on Catwoman. And DC was like, ‘You can’t do that. You absolutely cannot do that.’ They’re like, ‘Heroes don’t do that.’ So, we said, ‘Are you saying heroes are just selfish lovers?’ They were like, ‘No, it’s that we sell consumer toys for heroes. It’s hard to sell a toy if Batman is also going down on someone.’”

Heroes don’t do that?

Is that why crime is at an all-time high in Gotham City all the damn time?

I should note that, according to Otterson, Halpen and Schumacher did say that DC is very supportive of the series and has allowed them to “push the envelope” numerous times, this was just an instance where they had to keep the envelope above the waist, or rather, away from Catwoman’s meow—at least in terms of oral sex because, as Otterson says, “It remains to be seen if Batman and Catwoman will be shown engaging in some bedroom antics in Season 3 or if it will simply be implied via cunning linguistics.).”

AKA: is it just the cunning linguistics that DC has an issue with or Batman and Catwoman having sex in general?

Either way, the logic behind it is bonkers (consumer toys, lol), especially since Harley Quinn isn’t exactly a family-friendly Saturday morning cartoon. It’s adult animation at its finest, so if any DC characters are gonna draw the alphabet with their tongue that series is a good jumping off (or getting off) point.

I can’t help but go back to that “hard to sell a toy” mentality. Do they think they have to suddenly make a Batman toy whose tongue pops out when you put his head between someone’s legs? Do they … think we haven’t already taken a Batman figure and tee hee hee’d when he falls on top of another toy? It’s so bizarre, but it has, at least, given us some quality responses from the Internet.

Some have pointed out a potentially ugly truth: maybe Batman really wouldn’t do that. Maybe he’s a stuck-up billionaire who expects to be serviced but doesn’t dare return the favor.

I suppose that is possible, and there’s probably a pick me out there who would be fine with that. Catwoman ain’t got time for all that, though, so Batman better get with the program cuz there are plenty of others ready and willing to take his place.

The question has been raised, now that this is the trending Batman topic, on what other heroes would, or wouldn’t, eat their partner out in a way that makes a company rush to have the scene removed from their adult cartoon.

Let us know your picks in the comments, and remember, watch Harley Quinn on HBO Max! Harley Quinn is great!

(image: Warner Bros. Animation)

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Briana (she/her - bisexual) is trying her best to cosplay as a responsible adult. Her writing tends to focus on the importance of representation, whether it’s through her multiple book series or the pieces she writes. After de-transforming from her magical girl state, she indulges in an ever-growing pile of manga, marathons too much anime, and dedicates an embarrassing amount of time to her Animal Crossing pumpkin patch (it's Halloween forever, deal with it Nook)