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Warner Bros. Is Doing A New Odyssey Movie That Can’t Possibly Be As Good as the Armand Assante Made-for-TV Version

Greek mythology nerds, come forward!

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Nothing can ever be as good as NBC’s 1997 The Odyssey miniseries, because it had Vanessa Williams. But this Hollywood blockbuster Warner Bros. is working on could come close, I guess.

According to Deadline, Warner Bros. has thrown their weight behind Odysseus, a “large-scale” film based on The Odyssey. Russian actor/director Fedor Bondarchuk, most recently of the war film Stalingrad, will helm, with Jeremy Doner (The Killing) on writing duties.

Warner, with Legendary, also did Clash of the Titans—a wreck of a film because, and only because, it left out the scene from the original of a strangely slack-jawed Poseidon summoning the Kraken—and its sequel Wrath of the Titans, which gave us Perseus with this haircut and is therefore clearly the perfect film. The studio is also supposedly gearing up for a whole King Arthur series with Guy Ritchie. Now that I think of it, they also did Troy, the movie where this happened:

That acting.

Clearly Odysseus is on the road to majesty. It is the deepest wound to my heart that Greek mythology movies tend to suck, so I say go all out with this one and give us Channing Tatum as Odysseus and Michelle Rodriguez as Penelope. I’m sorry, did I say suck? Because that would be an amazing movie.

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