“Are We Expected to Believe That Both Johnny Storm *and* His Dad Are Adopted?”: The Mary Sue’s Favorite Comments of the Week

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The snark is strong with this week’s picks for The Best, Most Wonderful, Most Splendid Mary Sue comments. Everyone else was cool, but not ice cold. Alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright alright OK NOW READERS.

Yeah!

“Come on now! Are we expected to believe that both Johnny Storm AND his dad are adopted? Get it together, Fox!” — Travis responded to The Fantastic Four‘s casting of POC actor Reg E. Cathey as Sue and Johnny Storm’s father, and it was good.

“Hellfire and damnation, Becky! How many times have we been over this?! The TMS tachyon modem is so that Amanda can have a chance in hell of getting her homework in on time. It is NOT for you to send frivolous messages back to your younger self! You’ve seen TWICE as much Doctor Who as me, you KNOW the dangers of crossing your own timeline. I swear to god, woman… if you paradox yourself into the 1950’s again, you can take the long way home for all I care! My jacket STILL smells like primordial muck from the last time you dragged us all off to clean up your messes.” — Lup Lun reminds Becky of The Mary Sue’s interoffice time travel policy in response to her review of Child of Light.

TheBoost responds to the majority of attendees at 2014 Emerald City Comiccon being female with “Must have been crazy, all those fake geek girls fighting for the attention of so few guys.” We like the cut of your jib, TheBoost.

“Batman really needs to wash his car.” — NickN keeps his eyes on the details in response to our first look at Batfleck. He can’t wash his car, Nick! He’s too busy being sad!

“Well, SOMEONE had to come up with the iconic line ‘I am directly beneath enemy scrotum.'” — by repeat offender JustPlainSomething. You don’t need context, but it’s here if you want it.

“You KNOW a man designed that thing, amiright?!,” “that thing” being live-action Cinderella’s glass slipper five-inch heel. Too right, Morgan. In fact, the whole comments section for that post is gold.

“Is this… Is this what Marvel fans have been feeling like for the last five years? It feels good.” — Harrison Grey in response to the full-length The Flash trailer.

A last minute entry from Tanuki in response to Emilia Clarke’s, er, interestingly named Bonnie and Clyde biopic: “whur mah banks at? whur mah dragns at? whur mah banks, whur mah dragns, whur mah banks at?” If you don’t understand that reference.

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