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The Mary Sue’s Picks for 2014 Emmy Nominees

Living in a state of denial.

emmys

By now you’ve had a chance to check out the list of 2014 Emmy nominees. Not to take away from those honored, but, well, what’s the morning after an awards nomination without moaning about what the nominations should have looked like? To that end, here are The Mary Sue’s (quasi-joking) picks for who should be going for the gold on Emmy night.

Note: Jill’s out of the office today, so we have permission from her to nominate TATIANA MASLANY (caps necessary) in every single category. Orphan Black fans, you know what’s up. We’re also completely ignoring the fact that Penny Dreadful technically won’t be eligible until next year.

Outstanding Comedy Series

  • TATIANA MASLANY, Orphan Black (Jill)
  • Community (Rebecca)
  • Veep (Victoria)—but Orange is the New Black can give it a run for its money.
  • Rebecca stole my answer/dog ate my homework (Dan)
  • Modern Family (Liz)
  • Doozers (Glen)—If toddlers were allowed to be Emmy voters, this would sweep every category.
  • Steven Universe (Susana)—The best new action cartoon series I’ve seen since Adventure Time.

Outstanding Drama Series

  • Game of Thrones (Rebecca)—Look at that, it did get nominated!
  • TATIANA MASLANY, Orphan Black (Jill)
  • Breaking Bad (Victoria)—Sorry, Game of Thrones.
  • Breaking Bad (Dan)—To be clear, I think True Detective will win, but I prefer Breaking Bad.
  • Hannibal (Liz)—Only because Game of Thrones was already picked by Rebecca and I couldn’t decide!
  • Penny Dreadful (Glen)—Because it’s probably the best adaptation of Frankenstein.
  • Elementary (Susana)—For being the only drama that’s held my attention this year.

Outstanding Lead Actor In A Drama Series

  • Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones (Rebecca)—He was nominated for supporting, but c’mon now. Though it’s probably best that he’s in a category where he’s not up against Breaking Bad and True Detective.
  • TATIANA MASLANY, Orphan Black (Jill)
  • Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad (Victoria)
  • John Slattery, Mad Men (Dan)—In my head, this show is about Roger Sterling being awesome and high-fiving everyone after Pete Campbell zingers.
  • Mads Mikkelsen, Hannibal (Liz)—Attractive in that “your face is weird” way.
  • John Malkovich, Crossbones (Glen)—The show hasn’t really won me over, but Malkovich is terrific in it.

Outstanding Lead Actress In A Drama Series

  • TATIANA MASLANY, Orphan Black (Jill)
  • Eva Green, Penny Dreadful (Victoria)—Yeah, it most likely didn’t make the cutoff this year due to its late premiere date. Eva still wins it. That’s how good she was.
  • Robin Wright, House of Cards (Dan)—I’d be kind of afraid not to pick Claire Underwood.
  • Jessica Lange, American Horror Story: Coven (Liz)—The Emmys think it’s a miniseries. It has multiple seasons!!! Totally drama.
  • Eva Green, Penny Dreadful (Glen)—Everything Victoria said, plus that possession scene was bananas.

Outstanding Lead Actor In A Comedy Series

  • TATIANA MASLANY, Orphan Black (Jill)
  • Louis C.K., Louis (Victoria)—Jim Parsons seems like a delightful person and is very good at his job but oh god anyone but him this year, please.
  • Bob Odenkirk, Better Caul Saul (Dan)—Don’t worry, Saul will make sure it’s a comedy. Hey, the series is supposed to jump around time-wise, so why can’t I?
  • Pornstache (Pablo Schreiber), Orange is the New Black (Liz)—not actually a lead, but Pornstache! He can’t not win.
  • Chris O’Dowd, Moone Boy (Glen)—Because who wouldn’t want Chris O’Dowd as an imaginary friend?
  • Andre Braugher, Brooklyn Nine Nine (Susana)—Never underestimate the power of a (gay) straight man.

Outstanding Lead Actress In A Comedy Series

  • TATIANA MASLANY, Orphan Black (Jill)
  • Julia Louis Dreyfus, Veep (Victoria)—Although if Amy Poehler finally wins it, I will not be disappointed.
  • Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey (Dan)—The Countess of Grantham certainly thinks she’s starring in a comedy series.
  • Taylor Schilling, Orange is the New Black (Liz)
  • Alison Brie, Community (Glen)

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Drama Series

  • TATIANA MASLANY, Orphan Black (Jill)
    Pedro Pascal, Game of Thrones (Rebecca)
  • Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones (Victoria)—unless the Supporting Actor category is secretly a contest over which character is the saddest, in which case I think Aaron Paul wins.
  • Vincent Kartheiser, Mad Men (Dan)—For the schadenfreude.
  • Hugh Dancy, Hannibal (Liz)—He’s probably technically lead…but Mads Mikkelsen!
  • Alex Price, Penny Dreadful (Glen)—Because Proteus was a real highlight of the show.

Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Drama Series

  • TATIANA MASLANY, Orphan Black (Jill)
  • Sophie Turner, Game of Thrones (Rebecca)
  • Lena Headey, Game of Thrones (Victoria)—Picking between Skylar and Cersei was brutal, guys. Brutal.
  • Orange Is the New Black is in comedy? No one, then. (Dan)
  • Lena Headey, Game of Thrones (Liz) – Can’t go wrong with drunk Cersei!
  • Maisie Williams, Game of Thrones (Glen)

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Comedy Series

  • Orlando Jones, Sleep Hollow (Rebecca)—A, this show is so comedy, and B, look at this.
  • TATIANA MASLANY, Orphan Black (Jill)
  • Tony Hale, Veep (Victoria)—Runner-up is Andre Braugher for his delicious, delicious deadpan timing.
  • Jim Rash, Community (Dan)—Duh.
  • Ty Burrell, Modern Family (Liz)
  • Jason Gann, Wilfred (Glen)

Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Comedy Series

  • TATIANA MASLANY, Orphan Black (Jill)
  • Laverne Cox and Uzo Aduba, Orange Is the New Black (Victoria) First of all, Emmy awards, how dare you nominate these actors for guest instead of supporting. Secondly, how DARE you make me choose between them! You common cry of curs, whose breath I hate!
  • The Entire Supporting Actress Cast of Orange Is the New Black (Dan)—The show with a supporting actress cast so great it took up two categories and still couldn’t fit everyone. They are all infinitely more interesting than Piper, so I pick all of them.
  • Kate Mulgrew, Orange is the New Black (Liz)—I actually really agree with Dan. But Kate Mulgrew’s definitely one of my favorites!

Outstanding Actress Who Plays Like a Thousand Roles 

  • TATIANA MASLANY, Orphan Black (Jill)
  • TATIANA MASLANY, Orphan Black (Jill)
  • TATIANA MASLANY, Orphan Black (Jill)
  • TATIANA MASLANY, Orphan Black (Jill)
  • Maria Bamford, Adventure Time (Susana)

Outstanding Dedication to Sartorial Fabulousness

  • TATIANA MASLANY, Orphan Black (Jill)
  • Indira Varma, Game of Thrones (Rebecca)—Those formal jumpsuits.
  • Sophie Turner, Game of Thrones (Victoria)—Never have I been so happy to see someone change their hair color from red.
  • Matt Smith, Doctor Who (Dan)
  • Mads Mikkelsen, Hannibal (Liz)
  • Paul F. Tompkins, No You Shut Up (Glen)–Paul F. Tompkins’ sartorial game is on point. Everyone else can pack it in and go home.
  • Pearl, Steven Universe (Susana)–Now everybody go watch this dang awesome show.

Outstanding Dedication to Badassness

  • Lyndie Greenwood, Sleepy Hollow (Rebecca)—JENNY MILLS FOREVER.
  • Pedro Pascal, Game of Thrones (Rebecca)
  • Kotono Mitsuishi, Sailor Moon Crystal (Victoria)—what? *shrugs*
  • Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad and just in regular life (Dan)
  • Mads Mikkelsen, Hannibal (Liz) – so much better/creepier/badass than Anthony Hopkins
  • The Wrong Mans (Glen) – Just the whole show. Fun, exciting, badass.
  • Garnet, Steven Universe (Susana)–Watch the showwwww.

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